My smiley aka stupid 13 year old with a lighter
This was my first experience with scarification, in this case branding, so here it goes.
It was in January 2005 and I was over at my friend Rachel's with my friend Sam. We were having fun just talking and then I noticed a scab on Rachel's hand and I asked what it was from and she replied her friend tried to give her a smiley but messed it up. Sam and I immediately started inquiring as to what a smiley was and such, and we learned that if you got the top metal part of a lighter hot enough and held it on your hand it would leave a smiley faced scar. Sam asked Rachel to give him one and she said sure and got out the lighter and held the flame on the metal for a while then Sam stuck out his hand and Rachel put the top of the metal onto his hand. "Ahh damnit" or something along those lines Sam muttered as it was first applied but it eventually killed all the nerves in the area after a while she pulled it off and it looked like only the smile was to scar. They looked at me and I made up some excuse as to why I couldn't, not wanting anyone to think I was too scared. Sam's hand was beginning to hurt but he wasn't complaining too much so I thought it must not be so bad. A few hours later I went home feeling almost ashamed for not having it done as out of them I was the one interested in body modification and I was the one who didn't do it.
The next day I woke up and deep inside I knew I wanted one of these smileys but I just let it go. A few hours later I decided I wanted to do it. I went into my room and got one of my lighters out and then went into my bathroom and locked the door. I first sat down on my toilet and pulled out the lighter I was about to start but then I chickened out and I put the lighter back and went and got onto my computer. Once on my computer I got online and went to www.bmezine.com like normal and decided to check out the scarification photos. I looked at just a few and knew that giving myself a smiley would make me feel more part of the modified culture as up until just a few weeks ago my parents finally let me get my ear pierced. So I grabbed the lighter and once again went into my bathroom. I pulled the lighter out of my pocket and lit it and made sure the flame touched every part of the top metal on the lighter and I continued heating the lighter for another few minutes. Once I decided it was hot enough I took it and pressed it against the top of my left hand. "FUCK SHIT BITCH!!!!!" I thought to myself, knowing if I screamed it would alert my parents. After holding it to my skin for a few moments I just felt this odd tingly sensation as all the nerves had been killed. After I thought it had been long enough I pulled off the lighter and saw a smiley face mark.
I could have jumped with glee as out of the people I know that tried this mine was the only one that was a success. I immediately ran out of the bathroom, put my lighter away, and then ran into my little sister's room to show her. At only the age of 11 I can tell her anything and she will support me if she can tell I like it, after I showed her she said it was cool but asked me how I intended to hide it from mom and dad, I didn't know what to tell her as I hadn't thought of that problem arising. With in a few hours the smiley blistered and after a day of hanging out with some of my other friends and trying to make them see it without showing it to them and them not looking a finally just showed it to them. I got responses ranging from "Your fucking crazy" to two others who were considering it, one who later chickened out and another who is still considering it. Later on that night I stuck a tack into the blisters and squeezed it so the puss inside came out. At school on Monday I showed some of my close friends, and a few days later my mom noticed it and I just said that it was a burn from incense and she believed it.
A few months after this I began cutting and burning but I never considered myself a cutter or burner as those things were considered negative and I didn't and don't consider what I did to my body negative. However, my mom saw a few of the burns then realized I lied about the smiley thing and it was hell for a while.
I hope from my experience you learn that scarification done yourself with a lighter is a bad idea and I do not recommend anyone to do it, I know it sucks you can't get work done on you until your 18 but then you'll really appreciate it and when or if your parents find out they won't freak out at you. To everyone who read this good luck in your modification journey.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 18 July 2005