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Symbolism and enlightenment

Ritual cutting... The phrase has a rather tribal ring to it; summons up thoughts of rites of passage, beginnings, endings, spirituality, becoming closer to that which you want to be. Well that's what it means to me anyway – ask some other people and they will say that it's a way of doing self harm and that you are either mad, suicidal or both. Fortunately this is a place where I can tell this story safely and not feel as though I am being judged or in need of defending the reasons behind my choosing to imprint not only my physical body but my ethereal self as well.

I consider the scarification that now adorns my flesh a symbol of the pact I have made with myself. It is one of change, of sending the old on its way and welcoming the new. A renewal of the commitments I have made to myself and my personal spiritual growth and an outward symbol of my acceptance of the person that I have grown to be. The piece is a Wiccan protection symbol, rather simple in its design (will post pictures as soon as I have them) rather like a celtic cross with a ring around the middle of it. It is about 15cms in both its length and width and sits on my left shoulder blade, perfectly centred and symmetrical. I don't fear pain – I believe that it is to be used as a tool to encourage growth and is a sensation just like any other and I welcome and feel it wholly with all of my being. Being a Domme, I like to experience everything that I can possibly imagine putting a sub through before even considering doing it to them and as such over time, has included various procedures and modifications. This experience however, was to be totally different to anything else I had ever known before – it was mind altering and so very, very intense.

I asked a friend of mine (a Dom who is experienced in such things) if he would do the cutting for me. I explained that it had to be of a ritualistic nature and gave him the then, intricate design that I had found on a pendant which he modified to give it simpler lines as too better suit the scarring process. The date of the cutting was set, then moved then moved again, and then finally we were both in the perfect physical, mental and spiritual place for it to happen.

The actual day – it feels so long ago now, even though it has been just three days was an odd one, filled with much magick and lots of my favourite people. The time comes, we are at his house, and Mark has drawn the design onto transfer paper and we position it into the exact place checking what seemed like 100 times to make sure it was just right. The adrenalin that has been coursing through my body intermittently all day becomes more intense as I lay down and he cleans my skin and the design in put onto my skin. I started doing meditative breathing to the sounds of Massive Attack on the CD player and mark is stroking my back calming me and merging our energies. Another friend does a blessing for the ritual and seals off the room energetically and it begins.

Mark is talking to me, telling me that he is going to start and I feel the blade slice into my skin, there is some pain – not in a bad way though, it is comforting and warm and once blade is moving it doesn't hurt me, just the sound (yes you can hear skin being cut) and the pressure and a dull sensation that my mind recognises as pain but feels as just another sensation. The second cut is the same and then after that the endorphins kick in and I float. I wanted to ensure that the cutting would imprint on my ethereal body as well as my physical so I went down inside myself and found the plane that I needed to be on. I met new guides and affirmed everything I needed to and the magick took over and became lost in the moment. Every incision was bathed in symbolic meaning and every breath closed or opened a new door. I could hear mark telling me to breathe but that was it. I floated back down about 20 minutes after he had finished (I am not sure but I think it took about an hour) and was almost saddened that it was done, I could have happily lain there in that state for hours. Mark cleaned it off with a saline solution and then swabbed it with antibacterial solution, and still I lay there unable to move or speak – such were the endorphins and the huge amounts of summoned energy. Somewhere in there he had taken beautiful blood prints which just look divine and there we stayed with cups of tea and chatting til I was able to stand up and take my first look at it. It came up beautifully, the cuts were deep and even, none of the excessive bleeding that I had expected and I was out fire dancing to complete the ritual the same night.

The first shower was a little painful when the water hit my raw skin, but has been ok since then, I am cleaning it maybe three times a day and because of its location am covering it with a gauze pad rather than saran wrap. It weeps a little when I move around a lot, or sleep but other than that it looks clean and doesn't hurt at all. Emotionally I feel renewed and energised, spiritually – I know that this is the beginning of something new and beautiful, enriching and enlightening.

Ritual cutting isn't for everyone, and I would advise you plan it carefully and have it done by a professional if you are considering it, but for me I couldn't have had a better experience if I had tried. There is a lot more I could write about the experience, but this is already rather long – so if you would like more details you can email me.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 01 April 2005
in Scarification

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Artist: Mark+%28friend%29
Studio: +
Location: Brisbane+Australia

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