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my favorite cutting experience

My favorite cutting experience happened almost a week ago, on December 15. It was my birthday and I had to give myself a birthday present. I didn't know what I wanted but then I decided I was either going to pierce something or cut myself. I decided on the cutting because I didn't have any needles. I decided I had better get ready. I went into the bathroom and got some rubbing alcohol and some old rags. I went into my dresser and pulled out my favorite cutting knife. I have more than one because I collect them. I lit some candles, put on The Perfect Drug from Nine Inch Nails and sat on my rug in my room. I meditated for a few minutes and then I had to decide where I was going to cut and what design I was going to do.

I decided to do it on my foot and I was going to carve my nickname, Akasha.  My nickname is something I love.  And I usually keep my feet uncovered.  I knew that I would have to carve it upside down which wasn't the easiest but it would be worth it.

I took my knife and I put the tip to the top of my foot.  I knew I was going to have to push down hard in order for the cut to scar so I pushed down hard onto my foot with the blade and made the first cut.  The first line of the A.  It took about a minute for it to start bleeding but once I saw the blood begin to come out, a sense of serenity came over me.

I made two more cuts and looked at my letter A.  I knew it would look good when I was done with it.  I made a few more cuts and finished my letter K.  By that time I had to put that rag to good use because my foot was beginning to bleed really hard.  I laid down my knife and wiped off the blood with the rag.  I laid down the bloody cloth and picked up my knife again.

I knew 3 more cuts would get me another letter done. I made three more incisions and I had second A finished. I stopped and looked down at my foot...the next letter was the S and I didn't know exactly how to do it. I figured I had better just do it the best I could and hope for the best.

I actually made a decent looking S. I was proud of myself. I decided I better wipe off my foot again then finish the last two letters. I picked up my bloody rag and wiped off my foot again. I laid down my rag and continued, destined to finish my last two letters.

I made 3 more cuts and my H was done. One more letter I thought. I cut myself with one cut and I almost screamed. Something hurt so bad doing that one cut. I thought I must have cut myself a little too deep so I didn't worry about it. I made the last two cuts and my name was complete.

I laid down my knife and looked at my foot. Underneath all that blood I knew there was a wonderful work of art. This was something I could be proud of.

I picked up the alcohol and poured some on my foot. It hurt so badly but I knew it would help it to scar. I picked up my other clean rag and wiped off all the excess blood.

I tried to stand up but ended up falling down again. My foot was so sore that it could not help support my body so I crawled to the bathroom and put the alcohol away. I crawled back to my room and cleaned off my knife with one of the rags and I crawled over to my dresser and put my knife away. I crawled back and grabbed the rags and threw them in with my dirty clothes.

I stood up and supported myself with the wall and hopped back down the bathroom. I wrapped up my foot with gauze and covered up the gauze with my ACE wrap. I hopped back down to my bedroom, laid down on my bed and kept my foot on a pillow. Soon after I fell asleep.

I know I still have to take care of my foot to make sure it don't get infected and hope for the best that it will scar. Since it hasn't been that long I know I still have some time to make it scar, every time it begins to scab up I pick them off, and I put alcohol on it every night. Even though it is only 6 letters, those 6 small letters have a really big meaning in my eyes.

Just to warn everyone please don't do anything like this unless you know what you are doing. It could be a mistake. There is always the after care and it could be dangerous. So please be careful. Thank you.

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 10 Jan. 2005
in Scarification

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Artist: myself
Studio: in+my+room
Location: in+my+house

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