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burn baby burn

Hi. This is just a little story about a girl who was once young and living in a tiny tiny town, and who saw in a spin magazine the thing that she didn't realize she had been dreaming about her whole life, but that she was. Maybe this is a confusing introduction, but the explanation is oh so much easier to digest. when I was about 19 or 20 I saw a layout on scars, I don't remember anything about what it was, scalpelling or branding, but I do remember what it was of and how much I loved it. It was then that I realized I needed to use my body to say as much as I could about myself (without giving too much away).

Initially, I was a little scared about jumping in with both feet, so I started with one tiny piercing, then another and another, until I felt able to work up to a tattoo or two. I guess in my mind I was working myself up to be able to finally deal with the big one, the major pain, something that would hurt like the dickens for more than just a second.

so, I guess about 3 years after that fateful day I felt I was ready to seriously consider a scar, still not knowing much about it, and really not even sure where to look, but first I was still trying to find the perfect image for the perfect spot. This was serious, and so I was.

I finally decided on what, and where, and followed up with asking people in the mod community for pointers. This was my research. I found a couple of guys who said they did cutting, and at first was sure this was the way I wanted to go. Then after a little more thought, and after being a little frightened by some of their methods, I found who I was looking for.

I made an appointment with Blair just to talk, ask all the questions I had floating around in my head, and to set a real date. The when was finally set. It was after this discussion that I settled on branding as opposed to scalpelling. I'm not a fan of blood or open wounds (on myself) and wanted to avoid as much mess as I could, and branding seemed the perfect option for me.

In january 2002 I made my way to the shop, best friend in tow, to meet with my destiny. A hot iron and my leg were about to be introduced and I couldn't wait. It took us a good hour and a half to get everything ready, the lines on my leg, the space in my head, and a half hour after that it was time. I laid down on the table, face down, looking at my friend. As soon as the first strike came down I realized I was looking the wrong way and turned to the wall.

If the pain is a question you're looking to get answers about, all I can say, is I've never felt my skin melting before. The difference between addition (piercing and tattoos) and subtraction (branding) is like night and day. I controlled my breathing as best I could. I think I even lived lifetimes in each of those breaths, and there were many in the hour it took to achieve my goal. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't me on that table, that I would never have gotten myself into such a painful situation. But truth have it, I was me, and I was on that table, and I wasn't stopping until I was done. And I didn't. and I haven't been sorry.

A couple of months later I decided that I was ready for an additional brand, but here's where the interesting part comes in. In the 7 years since my first work was done and I've learned to understand my body and the way it works. I was on the table and ready to go when all of a sudden I felt inches away from either screaming or fainting or crying. I was shaky and uncertain, and thank everything that I've learned enough in my years of modification to understand that it was just not the right time. so, i'm waiting to proceed to brand #2. the idea is in my head, and I just need to get it onto my skin. soon. I'm hoping for sometime this coming year, in which case, keep your eyes open for another entry from me, because even though last summer was not the right time, I do not doubt that I will know when the right time comes around once again.

to see my brand go to Blairs section, I'm the calf spiral triangle.

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 05 Nov. 2002
in Scarification

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Artist: blair
Studio: before+he+moved+to+passage+i+can%27t+remember+its+name
Location: toronto+on+canada

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