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The fine lines between pleasure and pain

I am one of the few lucky people that have found their soul mate, or partner in life, at an early age. This experience is about our experience with scarification. Both of us have a long and emotional past with scars so it wasn't exactly something new to us. Yet what we discovered was something so wonderful (perhaps too wonderful) that I almost feel bad for recommending it.

We had dabbled with ink scarification before, never truly being successful; they would be beautiful until the scab fell off and left nothing but a faint scar. A friend of mine actually told me that if you use henna ink, or natural ink, it would stay. I never found out if that was true or not. But I can inform you that using ink from your average office pen will not work. Sad but true.

I would like to start off by saying that in my experience, in order to truly enjoy getting scarred by someone you must trust him or her, be attracted to him or her, and have a mutual appreciation for pain.

So my story starts off with typical teenage boredom and a razor blade. We decided on matching stars (hers a pentagram, mine became a pentagram later) no points for originality, I know. She did mine first and it hurt. Not unbearable, not un-enjoyable, but in all honesty it did hurt. She was sitting on the couch and I was sitting on the floor in front of her. Before she had finished I felt dizzy, made her stop while I ate some starburst (its good to eat sugar while cutting, as well as after piercings to prevent low blood sugar and fainting) then we resumed. Mine is on my right shoulder blade. I carved a pretty little pentagram into her left arm, slightly smaller than my star but just as deep. It was strange cutting her just because I am so incredibly close to her that the difference between her pain and my pain was very vague.

The stars scabbed, healed, and left faint scars. We were not impressed. So soon we decided it was time to go over them again. This time it was done on her bed and was more enjoyable than the last time, yet still not entirely un-painful. My star became a pentagram to match hers. They scared, healed, and again, we were not impressed.

We did this roughly 3 times, discovered how much more enjoyable it is when I lie on my stomach and she straddles my back. It was also completely painless when done this way. She added lines to her own arm without me and I was overwhelmed with jealousy because I had not been included and because I hadn't received any new cuts.

As discouraging as it was, after about the third time the stars were there and just a very pretty pale red colour. As strange as it sounds, a lot of people whom I thought would disapprove found the star on my back to be beautiful, sexy, etc. Scars are a very classical and primal thing, they remind us of the blood running through our veins. Tribes have been using scarification as a form of body modification for centuries.

Although pleased we were still unsatisfied. We bought ourselves a little knife with breakaway blades and we were amazed how much easier it was to carve with a sharp, shiny new blade. We usually burn the blade with a lighter before starting, even though I'm not sure if that is an effective way to disinfect it. Neither of our stars has ever gotten infected. Each time we do it we discover new things about each other and become closer. It is about time to do it again actually, and I'm almost excited.

I would like to stress a concern I have. Both of us have slightly masochistic tendencies; I'm pretty sure we both enjoy being cut more than cutting. If you plan on doing this alone and have no previous experiences cutting I would caution you. Cutting is one of the more addictive forms of body modification, I personally spent 4 years fighting that addiction to the point of giving up. It is also when done with someone you love, a very intimate and sexual thing. I would caution against doing it in a sadomasochistic form of role-play. And if you do feel the need to use scarification as a sexual role then make sure you have a code word with you partner that means stop. It is very easy to forget the limitations of flesh and blood. My code word for any form of rough role-play has always been 'Red' (its not a likely thing to say in the heat of passion but at the same time doesn't kill the mood entirely) but I have yet to experiment with cutting in that kind of way. I don't think I'm capable of emotionally handling it right now.

Try to have a clear perception of what your reason is for wanting a pretty scar. If it's based solely on looks and experience then its probably safe for you to experiment. When it becomes something more, release perhaps, depression; then I would suggest resisting the urge to try this particular form of body modification.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 22 March 2002
in Scarification

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