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Strength Through Wounding

I finished playing my favourite video game Final Fantasy VIII for Playstation... And my favourite character Squall has an awesome scar across his nose. Well, it goes from above his one eyebrow, diagonally over the bridge of his nose to his cheek. I have always thought well placed face scars were aesthetically pleasing. So, I decided that it was my time. No more hoping that I would be wounded by accident in a cool way.

I decided I would choose where I wanted the scar, and how I would go about scarring myself. I had never done anything like it before, so I wasn't sure what would be best. I was a little worried about infection, being on my face, and so close to my eyes, nose and mouth. The last thing I wanted was a bad infection on my face.

So I finally decided that the ragged animal wound look would be cool, but, the tools I had in mind to make the scar worried me. (I thought perhaps a medium sized chicken bone broken in half would do the trick). After thinking about how I might get infected from incision by animal bone, I decided on clean, sterilized metal.

I took your everyday, run of the mill razor for the job. A straight edge actually, like the kind my father shaved with when I was young. The glistening shiny blade made me a tad bit nervous. I envisioned myself cutting way too deep, possibly touching bone by accident. My irrational state caused me to imagine cutting, rather, severing muscles, and losing control over my facial expressions.

After quickly consulting a friend who was big on human biology, I decided to go through with it.

I bought a brand new straight edge, and some emergency medical supplies. Extra gauze, antiseptic, and that yellow liquid surgeons use before cutting you open. The straight edge was a little pricey, but I figured I could learn how to shave with it, since it apparently gives a closer shave anyways...

I gathered all my supplies, and layed everything out in the bathroom on top of the toilet cover. I laid down some towels on the floor as well. I washed my face, than carefully dabbed antiseptic all around the area I was going to work with. I was worried about possibly stopping mid cut, so, I pulled a length of toilet paper, maybe 7 sheets, and folded it up nicely into a sort of make-shift sheath, which housed my toothbrush handle easily, for me to bite down on. I thought if I clenched my teeth, I wouldn't chicken out and have half of what I wanted.

I was now ready to cut. I had decided on a variation of two different scars I enjoy. The across the nose style from my game, and, the classic over the eye from top to bottom. I couldn't imagine having a strip of bald on my eyebrow, so I wanted to avoid it altogether. So I went from slightly beside my right inner eye brow, about the middle of my forehead, and made a shallow, clean cut all the way down diagonal, going towards the corner of my jaw. The slight angle looked good, and the slight gap where my eye is was perfect. As if actually attacked with a glanced off sword blow. The shallow cut was to ensure I didn't make a mistake. If I did, a shallow cut would heal good and allow me another chance later on.

Luckily, it was perfect. I clenched my teeth down now, hard on the toothbrush. I kept breathing in deeply, remembering how much it helped when getting my sleeves done. Breathing steadily now, clenched down on the toothbrush, I brought the blade up to the start of the incision, pressed firmly, and brought the edge down carefully and slowly, making sure it was deep enough. Close to the mirror, so I could see just how wide it was opening, and ever so slightly glancing the skin in the gap of my eye for realism, the blade kept steadily along, and I went a bit lower than the initial cut. This time I went all the way to my jaw line, but cut shallower, so the scar would fade thinner as it got further. Just like the top of the cut, so everything is clean, and natural looking.

The blood flowed quickly, luckily not into my eye so as to detract my vision from my cut, and possibly messing everything up. The site of the blood made me nervous as I put the straight edge down, as it was really coming out quickly. I dabbed along the cut with Hydrogen Peroxide quickly, than applied the gauze.

I didn't stitch it up, or apply any healing creams, because I wanted a wide enough scar so it would be seen easily. I wrapped the extra gauze tape around my head, as if I were some burn victim, to ensure the gauze stayed on my gash.

After the first few days, when the wound was slightly scabbed over, but still a bit raw and tender, I removed the bandages, to keep the wound healing wide. I let it stay open until it was completely healed.

And I am now the proud owner of a very well placed facial scar that boosts my self esteem! I'm a little self conscious about it, so I tell people who don't know me it was from an accident. Maybe one day I won't be so shy about it?

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 12 Nov. 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: Myself
Studio: +
Location: Calgary+Alberta

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