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first ink rubbing

I was in high school, grade 12. I hung out with a lot of people who partied alot and got stoned all the time. Of course, I did it too. All the time. I got into it more than they did. I got almost caught a few times, then I just said, screw it. I'm not going to do this shit anymore! so I stopped. I've always wanted to do something different, like tattoos or piercing, but now they're so mainstream, and now I don't really like doing things that everyone else is doing, or stuff that is considered, in. I was doing research for getting some really controversial tattoo that no one else would have anything close and I came across the BME website. After looking through all the tattoos and settling on a few that I liked I was drawn by curiosity to the scarification section. I looked around and read some of the stories and saw a few about ink rubbing. I thought that that was so awesome, that was just what I was looking for. Something that no one else had, something that maybe a few people would love, but also some would be confused as to why I would do that. I figured how hard could it be to put some ink into a cut on my arm or something. I wanted to try it, but I had talked to my parents about tattooing and such before and I could only think of what they would do if they saw me cutting myself. I had to wait for a night that they were out. I've done scarification before. About a year before I carved an x into my forearm then I did another one close to it. I wanted to wait for those to heal for good to see how the scars turned out before I did a third big one in between. They looked pretty good but by now they're almost not noticeable, so I'm got gonna rush to do the third x. to me it doesn't matter as much how it looks, I just love the rush and the feeling of it. There's also tons of satisfaction of having done it myself. I've also done a star on my ankle. That one didn't go the way I wanted it to. I wanted a double outlined star, but I only got the one outline. It still looks good. I wanted to take scarification to the next step After about 6 months of being totally drug free I decided to make it official. I was at home one night. I think it was a Saturday. I had tossed around the idea of doing an ink rubbing before, but I never got around to it. As I said, I've done scarification before, and it went fine. So this one night I thought, yah, why not do it now. So I did. I decided on the straightedge logo (sXe) and to put in on my thigh just above my kneecap. I went to my room and got a big safety pin and sat down. I drew out the design on my leg and took up the safety pin. I knew it was going to hurt, alot. I started scratching over the pen marks. it barely hurt at all. it was more of an adrenaline rush. it started bleeding almost immediately. I kept scratching away and when I finished the design I wiped it off and looked in the mirror to admire my work. I loved it! I washed it off good and waited about an hour to get up the balls to put on the ink. when I finally got up the courage to do it I sat done and cut open a pen to get the ink out. I rubbed the ink on the design. it stung a bit, but I loved it. I let it sit and went to sleep as it was now about 12:30 an I was tired. when I woke up in the morning it was still there of course, and I wiped off the excess ink. I was so stoked about it. it looked awesome. I think I decided to do it myself because it was more of a spiritual thing for me. being straightedge in high school was not easy and I wanted the satisfaction of doing it myself. For me, it's also a way of finding out who your true friends are. If most of the people I hang with do drugs an shit then if they saw that I was straightedge and had the marks then their opinion on our friendship may change. If they decide not to be friends with me anymore just because of that, then fuck 'em. It was a true commitment My parents are going to kill me!

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 10 Aug. 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: self
Studio: home
Location: grimsby+on

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