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the good of cutting

Every time I try to explain my how I like to express my inner beauty I get shot down ­what's wrong with you- don't do that- your stupid- what the fuck is going through your mind. I recently became infatuated with the art of Scarification and this infatuation grew into a full fledge passion and love. I decided to tell about my history with art and body modification with my first piercing and then my introduction to the world of Scarification from the yearsof my problems with cutting out of hurt and pain to the art behind it that Ifell in love with. The first time I pick up a razor blade to cut myself I did it for a different reason not to carve a design on my human canvas I did it to see my pain first hand that was in my heart cutting myself or hurting myselfwas the only way I would feel better I have come to terms with my problems and haven't deliberately hurt my self in over 5 years. As I go older I becamefascinated with body art. An art form that was meant to be put onto the humanskin. I want to cover my canvas with jewels art and anything else I can. The first thing I did when I turned 18 was run out and get my lip pierced the feeling of the needle going through my skin the ring following it. My new ordainment thrilled me and I wanted more. It was a feeling like I had never felt a bit of pain at the same time a natural high. I wanted more and more this was a new drug to me I got my septum pierced a couple months after that, another feeling of that natural high. I became a fiend. Not having a job it made it difficult to be able to afford my passion I looked to piercing my self but once I pierced my labret my mom was a bit pissed and gave me a speech about how "all that shit in your face just makes you so unattractive", "you all ready have two no more take it out your 18 I don't need to take care ofyou anymore take it out of get out" well I did mention I don't have a job, so no job=no money. I did what I had to do to be able to stay in my house. Well I could get a tattoo but those cost more than a piercing. I looked in to other types of body art and came across Scarification. Scarification is the originaland creative application of scars to achieve an aesthetically or spiritually pleasing result. This art from can be achieved but cutting or branding. I remember a watching a body modification special on TV yet I did find it interesting but it didn't stay in mind until recently. The first time I tried to carve a design I was a bit apprehensive at first thinking it would bring up a lot of the old pain I had tried so hard to get rid of but I wasn't doing itto hurt myself and see my pain I had gotten past that this is much more it's a special unique and some what sacred feeling. The first thing I carved in my arm was the name AFI the name of my favorite band who has basically saved my life with there music so I felt I needed to so my apperception to them. Islowly dragged the razor across my soft skin on the under part of my forearmfirst the A then the F and last the I it drew a little blood and stung a bit also but it was my new a beautiful art piece. I loved it more than my first piercing. I would touch it and play with it I love it. My finger sliding across the raised surface and outer layer of the dried blood after the carving had held completely and left a scar I was in love and in a few weeks I carved a skull right next to my carving of AFI I drew more blood and it stung a bit more and it was beautiful it was something I created. It is a feeling only other people that have done it can understand. I got some criticism from my friends but I guess they don't know how to understand the art and feeling of body art. I used all the necessary precautions I got a brand new a clean razor blade and cleaned both the razor and the area of skin with an alcohol swab And every time I tell one of my friends about my passion I inform them that I do this out of love for this art form and nothing more but there are still ones that don't understand my passion. Peace love and cut happily

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 03 July 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: me
Studio: my+house
Location: Stockton%2C+CA

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