The Good Girl Gets Set Apart
Good girls have a bad rap. Everybody thinks that we're boring and not cool to
hang out with. Well, those people don't know me! However, when people look at me they're not seeing that I went partying last weekend and wrapped my "friend's" car in Saran Wrap. They see a girl that's 5'6, blondish brown hair cut no special way, nothing notable feature-wise, and someone who looks like she'd help your dear old grandmother cross the street. When I realized that, I freaked out. I told my friend Stephanie that I wanted to express my personality through my appearance, but that I didn't know how. Stephanie was into things like piercings and tattoos (though she didn't have any tats at the time). One night we were at Steph's house and she said, "Hey, Erin, I want to show you something cool." And she logged onto BME and showed me pics of all these interesting looking people. They looked so different and intriguing that I almost cried. I started pointing at things and saying, "That's so awesome!" and, "Whoa!" and my eyes were huge- unblinking. These people looked special. And then it hit me: They were expressing their personalities through their appearance. Wow! From that night I began planning ways that I could modify my body. Did I want scarification or tattoos or piercings? What? Finally I decided to start with one of each and see which I liked best. I was a great candidate for scarification because every scar that I had anywhere on my body was flat and just a darker color, not bumpy or anything. I decided that what I wanted was a sort of tribal mark that actually meant something to me. I started obsessing about this idea and spent a lot of my free time researching my background and my ancestors. I found out that my great grandfather was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian. My grandfather told me that he was always talking about the sun and how important it was to them, how they thought it was alive and how it had its own spirit. This stunned me, but I remembered learning about that in second or third grade when I lived in Alabama. The decision to have a sunset as my scar mod was easy after that. I had always loved the sun and how beautiful and bright it was. Sunset was the time that I felt most at peace. In fact, when I visited my grandfather we would walk to this huge hill by his house every night after dinner and watch the sun set as he told me wild but supposedly true stories. I knew that getting a scar mod of a sunset would help me to not only be more in touch with my Indian ancestry but also to remember my grandfather and his stories on that huge hill. So now that I had my mind set on my first body mod I told Steph. She was really excited that I was going to do something that would set my body and me apart from the rest of the women on the earth. She had all her piercings done but no tattoos or scar mods, so she was also excited that I was doing something she'd never done. She asked if she could do it for me and I told her that I would be happy to let her do it. I wanted to make sure that she didn't screw up though, since it would be permanent and stuff, so she said that she'd practice on a peach with an Exact-o knife. That was good enough for me. Then I had to decide how big I wanted it and where exactly it was to be placed on my body. I considered my wrist, my foot, my ankle, my back, and my upper arm. I decided that my upper arm would not be a good idea because I really wanted to wear a sleeveless wedding dress when I got married and, well, a scar of a sunset wouldn't really fit the mood I don't think. I decided that my back wasn't a good idea because it would be hard for my to clean as it healed. I also could cross out the foot and wrist because then I would have to also choose whether I wanted it facing me or people looking at it. No more decisions! So, I settled on my ankle, right under the bone on the side. Plus, with it located there I would be able to conceal it if necessary and it would also be small enough that I'd be less likely to chicken out. Was I forgetting anything? Oh yes, my parents. What would they think? Would they consider me a freak? I got really worried that they would tell me no and say that Steph was a bad influence on me, but my worries were in vain. I talked to them about it and they were really excited for me. Can you believe that? Their sixteen-year-old daughter is going to have her friend slice open her skin in the pretty design of a sunset and it's going to scar over. Okay, well yeah, I guess if I told it to them like that maybe they would have said no! But anyway, I told them about wanting to stand out a tad bit. My mom told me that I should dye my hair and my dad went so far as to say that I could buy orange nail polish. How extreme! But I told them what I had in mind and their response was, "Well, that would be interesting, honey." So they let Steph do it. Yay! The next day she came over and we sterilized the Exact-o knife and she showed me that peach (it was beautiful) and we got all set. She started cutting and I just made sure that my breathing was slow and steady so that I didn't pass out. I was extremely surprised how much it hurt, but at the same time how much I did NOT want to pull my ankle away. I really wanted that mod. My first one. So, now I have more mods than just double holes in my ear lobes and my left cartilage pierced. I have a scar mod. My gorgeous sunset. Next is my non-ear piercing. And what's that I see in my future? That's right, a tattoo!
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 21 June 2001