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fantastic stars

First of all, I am not crazy. Nor are any of these people out there doing the same thing that I am (or far worse than me for that matter). And any one who does not try a "body mod" is crazy themselves. I have not been into this type of expression for long but I can say this much.... I first really found out about body modification when I went on my annual trip to Mexico. I go every year with my one friend and about 13 guys on an organized trip for a school that my friends' dad teaches at. Well on that trip I met and really started to like this awesome guy who was into body mod and showed me the basics. At the beginning of the trip we had both decided that we would find a tattoo/piercing place and I would get a tattoo on the back of my hip and he would get his tongue pierced, something that he really wanted to do. I had wanted a tattoo for a while but he really encouraged me to go through with it. Well in the last leg of the trip, after about an hour of looking for a parlor, we finally find one on our way back to the hotel. There was one piercer and one tattoo artist there (a very small shop at the side of the road in the middle of a Mexican ghetto). There was a man in the middle of a tattoo so I could not get mine done. However, the guy said that he could take a break so my friend could get his tongue pierced. It was a very clean place and the piercer did everything by the books. He was so happy with the results and I was happy that he could get it despite my own loss on the matter. After we got back from the trip, I was so anxious to get a tattoo that I would have done any thing to get it done. Well my friend had guided me to this website and I was amazed by all the "things" that one could do to themselves. I was immediately intrigued to do a "scarification" to capture the pain inside and outside of myself (I had previously cut my wrists but it was not cutting it (no pun intended). That night I chose a moderately small star-like figure to burn on the back of my hip. I took a safety pin and a candle and locked my bedroom door. I heated up the pin and as soon as I pressed it to my skin I heard little sparks and the smell of burning flesh. That gave me a thrill and I decided to make it bigger. I went over it every night and the pain was wonderful. It gave me inspiration to do more and express myself in a "more positively" way, I guess you could put it that way, hehe. When people ask me if it hurt I simply say that the pain I was feeling inside was greater than the pain that I was causing myself physically. It really was as simple as that. (I had gone thorough a rough move, battled anorexia and was raped as a child and evidently I could not cope with that). Suddenly, I found myself "craving" (I am not sure if that is the correct word) the pain more. Not because I was upset or angry, but because it felt good and I liked the way it looked. The original burn did not turn out too good, being my first one, so after it healed, I went over it with a symbol that actually had meaning and that I cared about. It was a navigational symbol. Something I needed really bad (navigation). I was really messed up and that was the perfect way to symbolize my pain. Exactly what I needed at this very time. I did that last week and also pierced the webbing under my tongue that same night. Both are healing fine and I love them both. I am really glad that I met this wonderful guy and that he showed me a new way of expression that I won't die from. I basically owe him my life, for if it was not for him I would have most definitely gone back to cutting my wrists. It was simply his encouragement that got me through. I plan to do more body mods and FINALLY get my tattoo that I wanted when I go back to Mexico next year. I also want to get a "labret." I wish that I could tell everyone that I have no idea what the hell we are doing here but it must be a really good reason. But since we were just but here, I would


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 31 May 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: me
Studio: my+bedroom
Location: VA

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