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A Different Way

Before I start, I'm going to tell you all a little bit about myself.. I'm a teenager from a shitty ass town in Missouri. I've lived here for 2 1/2 years, and before that I lived in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have my tongue pierced, my belly button pierced, my lip, and I have 7 earrings. For the past 2 years I've been a cutter. I cut. I'm on medications for depression and I got to therapy every week... I've been in an out of mental hostbitals for suicide (which isn't an issue, anymore.)And just reccently I discovered the beautiful art of Scarification. I was talking to one of my friends who's also into body piercings and cuts and such, and she told me about a website where you can go to to learn about all sorts of things.. BME. So I came here, and started off with the piercings. When I first discovered BME that was before I had my tongue pierced (its only been done a few weeks) and so I checked that out a bunch. Then as I was browsing around all the sections possible, I found on that struck my interest: Scarification. I printed out tons of stories and picturesand studied a lot about it. Finally, I decided I wanted to do it. I was ready.. I couldn't have been more excited. The night I decided to do it, everyone in the house was sleeping, and my room is in the basement so I had complete privacy. I got all my 'tools' ready. I take razors apart to cut with, so I took one apart, sterilized the razor (I also boiled it) and then I cleaned the area on the inner part of my left ankle (where I had decided I wanted to perform the art) and got ready. I took out a thin tip marker and traced what I wanted to do. I had decided on a five point star.. Mainly because its beautiful, and this was my first real scarification, so I needed something easy and straight that wouldn't be too difficult. I was so excited about how awsome I was going to look that I could barely trace it on my leg! So after it was drawn, I picked up the razor, rested my leg on the bed, and began with the first line. It took about 15 minutes to get it perfectly even and done. But I decided I wanted it deeper, because if I was going to do this, I wanted it to look awsome. So, I went over it again.. And again. It started to bleed a lot, but I applied pressure and when the bleeding slowed, I put a bandage over my ankle with some gauze and went to sleep. In the morning it was sort of sore, so I didn't do anything to irritate it. But during school I was just way too excited about it, and so when I got out of school we rushed home (my friend Jessika was with me) and got out an old toothbrush and began scrubbing. Wow, pain, wow. It hurt soo bad, but I just bit my lip and kept scrubbing. I did so for about.. Uh, 5 minutes I suppose, then we wrapped my leg up again. I continued doing that for a couple weeks and it began to heal so I stopped. For now, I have a cute little five point star. I am in total love with it. I don't regret it at all, and its very easy to hide from the rest of the word. Most of my friends like it, but then theres a few who still see it as "Cutting" (which they don't like at all.) Maybe when I'm older I'll regret all these scars all over from cutting and so on, but with the scarification.. I don't think I will. I see it as the most beautiful art... I'm acutally pretty upset that I never discovered it earlier. I don't recommend doing this unless your really sure you want it. If your just doing it to be cool, then it isn't worth it. Its something that needs to be completely appreciated and loved.. But if your serious about it, I can't encourage it enough! Its just like getting your tongue pierced- It may be a bitch for a week or two, but in the end you'll be so happy- The pain is definatly worth it! I was surprised at how doing this actually equaled up to my cutting. I actually prefer this over cutting now, I think. Whenever I feel the need to cut, I can cut a star or something cute, and it'll scar, but it will also look great when the healing proccess is complete. I'm in the middle of designing another one, actually.. And I can't wait! If any of you want to email me about something, go for it Back to my life I go

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 30 April 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: Me
Studio: My+bed
Location: My+bedroom

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