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My Scar

I have six piercings and a wonderful tattoo and a few old scars that I created myself in a bout of frenzied emotional self mutilation, but my favorite piece of body modification has to be my scar on my upper left arm. All the guys had one, and I wanted one too. I was always fascinated with scarring, and had been involved with some self mutilation months before deciding that I wanted to get this done. It was a hot day and I was on vacation visiting my friends from my old home town in California. I was sunburned like I had never been before from attending an all day concert the week before. It may have added to the pain of the whole thing. All my guy friends had Anarchy symbols scarred into their upper arms, but I just didn't care for that symbol. Not only is the movement a pipedream, but I consider it in the same place as any highly religious symbols, you never know when things like that will change and your feelings will change. I didn't want something that I would regret for the rest of my life. Which is why my initial thought, a pentegram, was rejected. So I chose something that suited me better. The celtic protection sign seen by a lot of people on a certain Led Zeppelin album. Not only is Led Zeppelin my favorite band, but currently being pagan I thought that a symbol of protection would be a nice addition to my body, without being so religious that if I ever converted I would regret it. The symbol, a circle with 3 loops coming out of it, is aestheticly pleasing to the eye and holds many meanings. The most important meaning to me now is the feeling and memories of the best summer of my life. My friend Lanky performed the procedure using an Xacto knife (the kind you use for arts and crafts). He sterilized it with hot water and an open flame and started to get to work. First he drew the symbol on my arm like 5 times with a pen before he got it good enough for me to accept. Then he started to cut it into my skin.

It bled a bit, which didn't bother me too much. But the slicing made a noise like I had never heard before. It was an eerie popping sound as my skin broke. After just a couple minutes of hearing it I had to make my friend Jeremy (who had tried to talk me out of going through with it in the first place) play his guitar to drown it out. He played me a special song he wrote that I always felt good when I listened to while talking to me and distracting me. The only bad part about the whole procedure was that Lanky had to get up and leave for a while to run an errand, leaving me bleeding and waiting for about 30 or 40 minutes waiting for him to return. When he came back it was harder to let him start up again, because the hurting had gone from an adreneline rush to just plain hurting. But I kept going because I had wanted it so badly. The initial feeling was wonderful though, I must admit. There is something about it, that rush when pain is purposly being inflicted on me, that just is somewhere in between a cartwheel and an orgasm. It reminded me of why I used to cut in the first place, and also why it's a good thing that I had stopped. Somewhere in the process it becomes an addiction, and feeding it can be dangerous. Which is why I have moved to safer modes of Body Modification. I think it hurt a bit more than it would have if I hadn't been so sunburned, but because it was new skin it scarred pretty well. To keep it from healing too much, I had to pick the scabs off every time it would scab up. This part left little to be desired, but it was something I had to do to keep it from fading away. I didn't clean it or put any medications or bandages on it. I must admit I didn't do a damn thing to keep it from getting infected, so I guess I got lucky with that. I just left it alone aside from picking the scabs until it eventually was just a little scar on my arm. It has been 3 years or so now since I got the scar. I have added a few piercings and an awesome tattoo of a Lizard but my scar is a wonderful reminder of a great summer, a time in my life I don't want to soon forget. I wouldn't change a thing about that scar or that summer for anything. However now that it has faded so much and it is hard to see unless you are really looking for it, I would really love to tattoo over it at some point. I would love to get another tattoo and feed my addiction more.

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 30 April 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: Lanky
Studio: Home+Done
Location: Brownsville%2C+California

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