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Burning My Beliefs Into My Flesh

Eighteen months ago I was an IT support contractor, I earned more money than I needed and all seemed well in my life, i had one piercing, a PA, but that was just for fun really, it didn't have any deep meaning for me. Then, over a very short period, I lost everything, job, home, wife, and in my despair I drove away some very good friends as well. I was lucky enough to find some new friends and to rediscover some old friends, with their help I remembered what the magic in my life used to feel like before I became obsessed with toys. I started out on my 39th birthday on a quest for a new path, a path that would allow me to grow spiritually, to develop in ways I had forgotten. Robbie taught me Reiki, for which I will always be grateful, Mark was a solid friend throughout, other all had important parts to play but Ally showed me something special. Ally showed me a special devoted love I had never experienced before and she showed me the runes, we worked with the runes over the summer of 2000 and I felt the very real power they can invoke. It was a very difficult year for me, people came and went as I upset some who were very close to me, my material world fell apart that year but inside I felt changes happening, a new me emerging, and I wanted to mark that emergence with something special, something that would symbolise for me the new me and the process of my finding myself. I worked with Ally and eventually I drew a bind-rune, a combination of runes symbolising the strengths I wanted to invoke, including compassion and wisdom. Ally drew from my initial sketch a bind rune with proportions which felt right and around that time it became obvious to me that the ritual I needed to mark my passage was a branding. I searched for branding experiences everywhere but couldn't find anything that I felt reflected what I was seeking until I came across Perforations in Brighton, their web site included some ritual work done with suspensions, here, I realised, were people who would understand. Warren at Perforations is one of those people who improve a space by occupying it, he is a pleasure to be with and from the moment I arrived I felt the right balance of a joyful outing and a serious spiritual occasion. I had decided that I would pass through this gateway into my future in the company of a few carefull chosen friends, somehow it felt like it should be a male-only experience and I took with me Mike, Mark, Tim and Chris. Ally and I prepared some oils, one for consecration, which we both wore when I set off and one for courage whch we put on when I called to tell her the branding was about to start. I had expected something like a cattle brand and, despite several preparatory discussions with Warren, it wasn't until I got there that it really sunk in that I was going to have a large number of small burns. I knew I could do anything once if I was determined enough but I was concerned that I might not be able to face the repeated pain, in the event it was exactly the experience I was looking for. there was real pain but it was the pain of creation and cleansing, not a destructive pain, it didn't hurt me, it burned away something and left behind a branded new me. This was one of the few times in my life that I have been to that special 'other place' where we are changed forever, I almost feel as though I should have said goodbye before i lay down on the couch for the work to begin. The design is about 5" tall and about 3.5" wide and you can see the pictures on my page at bmezine (name is Khaos). The lines were drawn on about 1mm wide and burnt that thickness, now, a week later, they have spread to about 5mm (1/4"). A pyrography pen would have given a more even line but I wanted the strike branding experience and that will always give a less precise design. Anyhow, a week later I love it. I don't know how we're going to treat the healing wound to determine the final colour, Warren has had a few ideas, and Ally is going to have the same rune tattooed which is very important to me. I would recommend anybody who's looking into ritual body mod stuff in the UK to call Warren and I can tell anybody thinking about branding that yes, it is very painful, but it's a creative rather than destructive pain. The whole experience has been an important part of my search for my spirituality and one of the important life changes I have been through this year. Alan khaos@lords.com

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 27 March 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: Warren
Studio: Perforations
Location: Brighton%2C+UK

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