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my first try, second try, third try

Well, my first few attempts.... A little background information. The boring stuff! I'm 15 years old, and I grew up in a wild city, Tampa Florida. I moved to Lakeland when I was 13 years old, and I found it quite boring. I met some great friends here, and one got me really into body modification. I love him dearly and I consider him my brother and best friend. When I found out about body modification, I thought "HOW COOL!" I fell inlove with the idea from the start. I was into tattoos, stretching and odd piercings already, but BME let me really get into it. I'm now totally addicted and recommend body modification to anyone, but I urge them to remember this is a permanent thing and it should be thought through carefully. I have three different scars. My first one is not looking too good. I did not cut it deep enought. It was 2 o'clock in the morning and I was freezing cold. I had the idea to finally do the scar I wanted, a 4-point star. The middle is a dimond. I grabbed a pair of tiny, sharp scissors. Not exactly the ideal tool, but for me it worked. I first drew the design I wanted with a pen. Then I started scratching. As I scratched, I let the scissor blade get deeper and deeper into my leg, until finally blood came pouring out. I felt very little pain and what pain I did feel was like a slight poke. Nothing more. After about 30 minutes of scratching, I was happy with my results. A single 4-point star on my left inner akle. The very next day, I added a smaller star, in the shape of an X in one of the corners of the larger star. The day after that another X. So now, I have one large 4-point star with two small X's on opposite corners. It's a little like Orion's belt in the constalation Orion. Three stars in a row. I was so proud of myself that I showed all of my friends and even took pictures. But I did not know I was supposed to abuse the scar. They soon faded and went away. I was upset about that and set out to redo them. This time, I had a VERY sharp needle. A sewing needle in fact. I used this to go back over my previous scars. Because there was still scar tissue healing, it hurt a little and bled alot more. I then did another 4-point star on my right foot. Just under my big toe. Before on the star on my ankel, I left the middle of the star empty. I did not scratch or fill in, this area. On my foot, I scratched this area with no mercy. This was a little painful. The next day I woke up, took a shower, and went to school. I found out from my good friend that I was supposed to have abuse my scars by brushing them with toothpaste and a toothbrush. Another lovely women on IAM.BME told me the same thing, because Ryan was not sure if it was toothpaste or not. So I went home and took my left sock off and set out to brush my ankle with toothpaste. WOW! IT HURTS! The burning was intense. The toothpaste is just enough irritant to keep the scar fresh, and the tooth brush just scratchy enough to hurt the scar and not the skin around it. After about 15 minutes of scrubbing and slight bleeding, I cleaned my ankel and put my sock back on. Time for the foot. I started to take my sock off when I realized the skin in the middle of my star and healed to my sock. I had to rip my sock off. This re-opened my scar. THE PAIN!!! But I soon got over it and jumped onto my bathroom counter. I applied toothpaste to my extra tooth brush and was ready to start scrubbing. I do not reccomend using the same tooth brush you brush your teeth with to brush your scars. That's just me though. AH! THE PAIN!! This was incredibly painful. A few minutes later, my foot went numb and I no longer felt the immense pain. My foot did bleed alot more then expected. I had no fear. I asked some people on BME if it was supposed to bleed, and they said of course! I felt stupid!

I continued to scrub my stars for 2 weeks. My stars on my ankle are now healed, and i still have to redo them. They are pink and barely scars. If I do not redo them, they will go away in about a year. I plan on redoing this one with an actual scaple or a 14 gauge needle. Either way, very deep. The star on my right foot is still healing. I scrub it every night, and for the past 2 weeks it still has looked like a fresh cut. I think that is a good sign! The middle of my star continues to heal to my socks, so when I take them off I re-open the wound, but that's helpful to my scrubbing. Those are my first three attempts at scarification. My fourth attempt, and third scar, is a whole nother story! That one will be titled "buff puffs hurt!" Look for that one! I enjoy scarification and look at it as a way to express ones self without having a parents permission or money. To me it is not a way to express emotional frustration as the media has portrayed most cutting. That type of cutting is for those that need control in their life so they control whether it hurts or not. Scarification is another way of modifying the body to suit ones soul. It's not sensless cuttings that help emotional frustration be realeased. It's art. With that said, I shall be going back to my world now. jeN


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 06 Feb. 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: jeN
Studio: little+place+called+woo+%28my+room%29
Location: lamelad+florida

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