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First Scarification Experience

Well..it started off as just a walk with me, and my closest friend, Ashley. Every so often, we'd walk down to this parking garage by the apartments down the street from my house. (Highpointe) Anyway..for some reason, that kind of become a little 'memory' for us. Ever since the 5th grade, we'd go down there, carve stupid shit into the garage side, like.."K.S.+D.B.=3", stupid kid shit. Anyway..we were down there..I forget why, now, but it was a little over a year ago. I think we'd both been having family problems, and had walked down there just to get away, smoke a couple cigs, etc. Our parents had both told us they were going to send us away, because we'd been getting into alot of trouble, lately. Getting caught with drugs, alcohol, all that. So anyway, we thought it was it for us, so we made one more modification to our wall: "A.V.+K.S.=BFF". Sounds kind of corny, I know, but hey..we didn't know what else to put. Earlier with a past friend of mine, we had gave ourself matching scars, simply carved into our ankles, so we thought it was a good idea for us to do it, too, considering we'd been best friends for..about a good 4 or 5 years, by this time. So we each got done with our cigs, and put them out on our arms. After that, we thought 'Wow..this is kind of fun', so we started smoking MORE cigs to make MORE marks. I created a pattern with my 'dots', standing for 'crazy life'. Ashley created the pattern of Marilyn Manson's former guitarist, Zim Zum's 3 dots placed vertically on his forehead. She was overly obsessed with Zim Zum at the time, so it fit her. We walked home, and decided we wanted to quit smoking..I don't know WHERE that idea came from, but it just..popped up. So, we made a deal that every cig we smoked, we'd put it out on our leg to try to convince us to quit. Well, we liked doing it so much that we just kept on smoking to make more marks. I ended up making 5 dots which went in a half-circle form, and Ashley just had hers on random places on her leg.

After a while, my mom found out about the burns, and started taking me to a psychiatrist, because she thought it was 'insane'. My mom only knew about the marks on my arm, not the ones on my leg. So as my mom was explaining this whole 'mutilation' thing, she pulled up my pantleg, and pulled down my sock to show my psychiatrist my scars from my previous friend before Ashley. That was when she discovered the burns on my ankle. She freaked out, broke down crying, and my psychiatrist freaked out, too. It turns out, Ash had healed under my skin, and caused a REALLY bad infection. My leg had itched, and started turning weird colors, but I didn't think much of it. So, I got prescribed an antibiotic (sp?) so the infection would go away. After the infection went away, I didn't want the scars to disappear, so I quit using the medication. Anyway..I thought it was worth it, because I'll always remember my 'crazy life' as a child, and all the shit I went through. However, my years as a teenager still aren't over, and I want to make some more 'memories' for the future. I don't want to do them while I'm still living with my mom, though, because everything else I've done has freaked her out badly, and I'm not about to get sent back to a temporary institution. I plan on getting piercings when Im 18, because..for some reason, my mom doesn't like 'facial piercings', so I have to wait it out. I don't have in mind all that I want, yet, because my opinions of specific piercings change from time to time. Other scars I have that my mom doesn't know of..are 2 of my ex bf's names in my torso area. I have my ex bf, Josh's name carved into my chest, which is still visible after..2 years? I also have my ex bf, David's name stitched into my stomach, but that one is slowly fading. I burned 'whore' into my arm over a year ago, because I was convinced that's how I was being treated. That caused an uproar at school when I wore short sleeve shirts..man, that was awful. Anyway, I've really gotten over the stage for feeling sorry for myself, and carving useless words into my body, but that doesn't mean I give up on scarification. I hope you enjoyed listening to my story, as much as I enjoyed creating it.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 06 Feb. 2001
in Scarification

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Artist: Me
Studio: By+an+apartment..%28heh%29
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