Straight edge Scarification experience
All my life since I was a baby, I have had many operations after being diagnosed with a kidney disorder, which has left me with a fine array of scars to show off to my friends now and again. During my teenage years I suffered much depression, which often lead me to cutting myself, usually on my arms and legs. This too left me with some incredibly impressive scarring on my body, but after several years of cutting and a lot of therapy (after a teacher at school almost had a heart attack when seeing a freshly cut wound running along my arm and a bloody razorblade on my table) I realised that if I was to continue cutting, I should really do the job properly. I had toyed around before with body piercings, doing first my nose, then my labret and then moving onto eyebrow and septum piercings, all done myself. However due to my parents ultra-conservative attitude towards body adornment, I was forced to take them out. One day I was sitting in my bedroom looking through some skating magazines when I saw a picture of a guy who had a tribal design embedded on his upper arm. On closer inspection I found that he had had it cut into his skin, and as I sat there the idea of carving something deep and meaningful into myself seemed very appealing. Being an age still where I still wanted to express my body, but fearing the lack of control in getting a tattoo, I set to work thinking up what to carve into myself. I decided at last on carving ¡§sXe¡¨ on my leg, because at the time I was predominantly straight edge after just coming out of a heavy teenage drug episode and wanting to wipe the slate clean. So I set to work planning out my design, and then transferred it to my leg. I had to rub out my design several times before I even picked up a knife, as I could not seem to get the position level. Working on my ankle meant that to draw out and begin cutting, I had to twist my leg around sideways and rest it next to me, which I personally was never built for! I kept taking breaks so not to cause cramp in my leg, and to look in the mirror to check the positioning of the design was correct. Once I was happy with the positioning, I took my Leathermans knife out of my pocket and began sharpening the tip on a whetstone until it was razor sharp. I held a lighter to the blade for a few minutes, first of all to heat it to get rid of some of the bacteria that could have been on the blade, but also to have it nice and hot to fuse my cuts and create a better scar. After allowing the blade to cool slightly, I slowly began to cut. I had not anticipated how sharp the knife actually would be, and so my first incision was VERY deep, but the feeling of hot burning steel slicing through me was amazing. The trickiest part of the ordeal was the ¡§s¡¨, as I found it nearly impossible to create a definite curve to the letter without making it comprise of just jerky lines. Due to this, my time spent on the letter was far greater, but in total the whole cut took about 20-30 minutes to become perfect. Soon enough I had completed all the design and I sat back admiring my handiwork. My leg was a bit sore for a few days, and glowed a painful red colour, but aside from that I was happy that I finally had something permanent and meaningful on me, and what¡¦s more I did it myself! Since then, It has healed very well, and shows today as a nice juicy white scar above my ankle, and so far I have had two more scars done on each of my shoulders, a labret piercing and I have plans for a PA soon enough. Sometimes I wander if I made the right choice with my design, but to this day I haven¡¦t gone back to drugs or alcohol, and whenever I¡¦m in doubt, I just pull up my trouser leg and have a little reminder to set me straight again. º After I did the straightedge cutting, I got much praise from people at school, but also much abuse for it. People said that if ¡§God had intended us to cut ourselves then he would have given us knives instead of fingers¡¨, but I didn¡¦t care. Scarification, as with any form of body modification, is solely about expressing yourself visually to other people, and to yourself. I like my scars, and my favourite ones are the ones I do myself. For those of you who are interested in scarification, make sure you know what you want before a knife touches your skin, but at the end of the day, it¡¦s your body¡Kso go on ¡V Express yourself! Dave.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 25 Jan. 2001