Self-carving and Ink rubbing
Hey everyone I have ventured into the zone of no wimps. Self cutting. It all started last year with me being quietly depressed and questioning God. I went out on a limb and carved a pentagram into my left inner ankle. Then I carved an "X" into my forearm, to show that the blood that runs through my veins is off limits to others (Long story, don't wanna get into it).
Then came the rapid scratching phase. I could scratch myself many times and get a nice, burning open wound. I have them along my outer right wrist, I call them my "Stigmata". After realizing the errors of my pentagram, I proceeded to carve that out of my ankle using little and big needles, a knife and tweezers. I would shove the needle under my skin, rip it out quickley, and cut and pick at it with tweezers. Now I am left with a ugly scar that I plan to cover with a tattoo of a cross. Then, one night, after many months of working on my ankle (it's a really hard procedure, but it works very well) I decided to carve "I LOVE KYLE" in the shape of a triangle on my foot. Now let me just say, no one can understand the depths of my relationship with my fiancee Kyle, he saved my life... Now that has scabbed and I was yearning for another way to profess my love permanantly to Kyle. Since I have to wait until tomorrow, or the day after to get my tattoo, I decided on another carving. This time over my left breast. It is in the shape of a heart with a "K" within it. I was sitting on my bed, relativly doing nothing and just plain old missing Kyle, when I decided to finally do what was on my BME to-do list. The carving. I'm going to describe it in horrific detail, so take it easy on the food. I took an unsterilyzed needle (infections give better scars) and scratched lighty to see how i wanted the shape (you know, just light enough so it looks white?) Then I took a pen and traced around that. I waited maybe 5 seconds before digging the needle into my skin and trying to pull it out again to being the hole (it's helps for scratching) I guess that the skin up there is tougher, only with less pain. I actually used all my strength to pull it out again and it made this teriffic popping noise! I decided it didn't work well enough so I went to the end of that hole and began another one,to extend the hole. Same difficulty, same loud popping noise. It started bleeding almost immediatly, so I took that opprtunity to begin my scratching (blood is a fabulous lubricator!) I would scratch with heavy pressure until the skin opened up and showed a gaping red wound. Then I would switch to a larger needle and scratch until it bled. I did that all the way around the heart. It took maybe 10 minutes in all. Then I began the "K" in the centre. This was surprisingly easy, considering the angle I was working from, and it came out perfect. I began watching TV and soon forgot about the open wound. Then my eyes wandered over to a pen. I cut the pen open with one of my many knives, and poured and rubbed ink all into the cut. I waited about 10 minutes, and covered it lightly with a bandage. Hopefully, within 5 hours it will be ready to come off. It doesn't really matter to me if the ink rubbing works or not, it just matters that I have Kyle permanantly by my heart... in my heart. It's kind of like a metaphore. Let me explain this now, piercing and scarification are extremly different. Scars are forever, like tattoos. But if you do any scarification, I advise you do it yourself. I know, bad advice, bad advice. But honestly, unless you are getting a design put in you, do all your work yourself. You'll find it means much more to you than anything a professional could do. Sure, it won't be as good, but it will have significance. If I could do my own tattoos, I would. But since I can't, I design my own. That's the next best thing. It's kind of weird, the carving on my foot hurt so much, but the one oabove my breast was very minimal. I did it the same way, scratching it and carving it out with needles. It's not really cutting, so i'll call it self-carving. If you have any questions, feel free to email me, or visit my forum on BME my IAM.BME name is ~angeleyes~ Buh byes!
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 10 Jan. 2001