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Power..

- Only one way to describe the feeling of a sharp knife cutting threw your skin, incredible, it gives you a true sense of power, and pain is an amazing turn-on to many people, and me as well. As i said before, my name is Ian, most people call me Spike, because of my hair...but anyways, onward to the scarification part.

In indiana i could find NO one to do this, no tatoo artist knew it, and I wanted a scar of an eagle on my forearm...instinctively, after a full day of trying to find someone that will do it... i took a utiliy knife to me own skin, before i even made the first cut, i decided i needed to wash the area, and make a drawing with crayon..so i drew what i wanted... a eagle with a large star above its head, and i made a line all the way around my wrist, the center line. Soon after i was done with all this, i looked in the mirror and smiled at myself, i had been 'cutting' for years but i wanted this to be permant...so i took the alchol swab, and cleaned the area once more....my first cut, i felt the blood dribble down to my fingertips, smiling to myself , what a rush! the pain had gotten to me, slowly, millimeter by millimeter, i made my way around my path that i had drawn, i went over all of it once, then agian, then very deep, all the way around, when i reached the underside of my wrist, were the wings would almost meet, i went slower, making sure not to cut anything too important, by now i was bleeding pretty nicely, the blood dripping off my fingers into my lap was such a rush! i felt so powerful, all of it... eventually i got to the star, that was the hard part...it was a circle with flames going off it, as i did the rest of the scar i started washing out the blood...i looked at my new creation, what a lovely sight...and thats how i started my first scar...now it is beautiful. -Second- About 4 weeks later, i decided i wanted more...alot more..so i took my utility knife, and a scaple i stole from my mom,(she's a paramedic) and got some alchol, took a shower, and naked i stood admiring my own body, i am very athletic, and i didnt want to mess me up to bad, so i decided to do rings on my fingers, and a large ring with a gothic symbol on the sides of my thumb...i wanted them to be perfect, so i took a pen, and marked all i wanted cut, it was beautiful, i felt so powerful agian. like i had just taken someones soul, and crushed it, destruction of myself is such a good realese from life..i've had a totaled screwed life, my girlfriend of 4 yeras commited suicide when i was 17...my dad was killed when i was 7..leading to me cutting, its like a rush for me, or more of a realese as i slowly admired my body, i took out a ciggarette from the package and started smoking, stroking my hands, making sure to put enuogh blood in them to really bleed(i love the sight of my own blood, and the taste of it...) i slowly took the scaple, and make my first slit...o dear god, the blood rushing out of this was amazing, i felt the power agian, and it was damn exciting...i continued my first cut, then went over it 3 times, by the time i was done with my first cut, i had smoked 2 cigs, both very bloody buds stood proud among the blood..i smiled at my self gratification, wow it was amazing. i had never done anyhing like this before a few weeks ago, and now i was becoming addicted!as i made my 2nd line, the pain from the first was shooting threw my body, giving me this entire rush. slowly i made every cut count, smoking 2 packs during the first 12 cuts (multiple rings) and then i moved on to my thumb, this..the most powerful of cuts, i made so slowly and deeply that the blood driped onto my whole body, i felt like a god...a god of self gratification. as i made the ring, and slowly started on the gothic part, i felt very odd, i finished and cleaned up, the next day, they looked beautiful, its now 5 weeks later, and all my scars are amazing... i will write more in the future, and thank you for letting me tell my story of power.

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 15 Dec. 2000
in Scarification

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Artist: Self.
Studio: Bedroom
Location: Indiana

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