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Hot Metal and Teen Angst

y to keep this short as I'm sure it wont be a riveting tale. To preface: I am a "normal" kid, I'm not depressed, and I fit in well at school. I don't have a history of abuse. I am an attractive, middleclass white male. I don't get teased. I'm well accepted by my peers. I'm everything normal and i don't have any troubles (maybe that's my problem). This wasn't about mental escape; this was about the beauty and the experience. I'm new to the whole body modification scene but it really interests me. A body is god's work of art I guess and I want to add my touch to make it unique. I mean come on, it's my body after all. You body is the only thing that will be with you your whole life, there is no better canvas to work on. Anyway, being a minor and short of funds, I couldn't really go to a studio to have anything done so i decided i would do it myself. I want a tattoo but that's not an option so i decided on a brand. I know this was just to tide me over till i could get something really nice/elaborate. A brand seemed like an ideal choice for some one in my situation because home tattoos aren't always very good and don't go over well with up tight parents. Cutting doesn't look good to the parents either and are usually seen as a "warning sign" by shrinks. A brand unless it's in an obvious design could easily be passed off as an accident. Except for the perfect circle of skin in the middle of mine, it just looked like a really bad burn. I wanted a circular design, something that has some meaning, so i looked for something like a steel ring but could only find a pair of toenail clippers, plus without pliers or something else to hold it, it would be really hard to apply pressure. The hole in the end meant for a key ring would leave just the mark i wanted. This is where my inexperience comes into play. I didn't really know how to do it so i grabbed a lighter and heated it up till it was red on that end (the rest got really hot and i burned my fingers slightly guess i should have thought this out better). After looking at some of the pictures on this web site i realize i probably should have used a torch to get it a lot hotter. I decided on a spot on the back of my wrist. I thought i was going to puss out but i kept thinking it was just getting colder so i bit down and shoved it into my wrist. I couldn't make a sound cause it was 2 am and the 'rents were home. The pain was immense. I sort of lost my mind, like the moments during climax. I held it there till it wasn't red and i couldn't feel the pain any more. Again, not knowing any better, I only did one strike. Underneath the first layer of skin, the flesh below was translucent and the cauterized veins looked like worms suspended in jelly. If I were to do it again, I wouldn't choose an object with such a large surface area. Days later it looked really sick but beautiful all the same. I'm glad i did it. The little circle of living skin in the middle looks really nice. Its still healing and I don't know how to treat/dress it, but its nothing too serious so I don't think ill have any problems with it. I've had some minor infection, inflammation but nothing to warrant concern. A lot of my friends asked why or how i did it. To let you know, i was sober. I don't hate myself, I'm not masking some pain, and I'm not hurting myself to express inner turmoil. I did it cause I wanted to test my limits. I didn't think I would do it, and i sure as hell didn't think i could handle it. I took it really well i think. I didn't make a sound and i cleaned up all my materials just fine. This was my first experience in this area and it has opened the door for many more possibilities. Kudos to BMEzine for their web site. It's an infinite supply of helpful information to people like me. I don't think i could get too far into body modification in the scene setting. That's not for me. It would have to be in a sterile environment and i don't think i could mess with little Bill Jr. too much. Genital modification isn't beautiful to me. If that's your thing, great, I'll look at your pictures and read your experience submissions.

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 29 June 2000
in Scarification

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Artist: Bill+Sae+Bob
Studio: his+room
Location: Tacoma%2C++Washington

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