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My scars

art, I suppose I'll introduce myself. I'm a 16 year old redheaded Pagan Goth body modification enthusiast. I sport 2 14G lobe piercings, 1 6G lobe piercing, a 14G cartilage piercing, and 2 1/2" stretched lobes, along with a scar on my thigh and a small brand on my forearm. I suppose I'm quite unique.
For a few years, I've been wanting a tattoo. Among others, I liked the idea of a pentacle above my loins, and I didn't feel like waiting until I turned 18. I still don't, but I'm resigned to it now. I'd much rather have a professional jub than what I could do so far at home. A few months ago I tried to give myself the tat, like a true idiot. I'm not going to say what I used, I don't want to give anyone ideas. I put the design in my thigh, where I could see it and work easier than my stomach. I guess I just never went deep enough with the tool, but it never took in of all my tries. It did, however, leave a bit of a scar, which faded after a few weeks. I decided I liked it, so I went over and over the design every few nights. After that, too faded, I got a razor blade and decided to cut it. Like most people, I was apprehensive about taking a blade to myself. I worked my way up to it slowly, by cutting deeper and deeper into my skin until I could just slice. Then I worked on the cutting for a few weeks every time I took a bath, and then when I remembered before I got in bed. Since I've stopped, it's healed up nicely, but unfortunately I don't keloid much. It's that damn Irish blood. My brand was a religious experience. I was doing a ritual one night when I decided I wanted to do a modification to bring myself back to my path. Lately I'd been less spiritual and religious, less moral, and less like the person I'd wanted to be. I tried to live by an adaptation of the Wiccan Rede, "An it harm none, do as thou wilt." My version is "An it cause more good than bane, so mote it be." I used to follow this code most of the time, but I had been lax lately in following it. I wanted to be the kind of person I was. So I decided to use one of my ritual tools to brand myself. I used a sacred knife for this, picking a design that kinda looks like a cresent moon with a dot in the middle of it. I heated the tip of the slightly curved blade in the candle flame, though not enough. Then I apprehensively brought the hot metal to my forearm. It hurt, not unbearably, but enough to make me jerk it away. It hurt less than my horribly-pierced tongue, actually, but that could be because I was more relaxed. I remembered something I'd read here on BME then, about embracing pain, concentrating on it, to make it less intense. It sounds strange, but it works. I could always take pain, it's just been hard to inflict in onto myself. I tried again. I looked and saw nothing immediately different about my arm yet. I put the blade back to my arm once more, then doused it in the chalice of water on my altar. I was euphoric after it, sure that this would be the help I needed to make myself me again. It has worked so far. There was little trouble with healing. The morning after, the burned skin was starting to get loose. I bit it off, and watched the little bit of blood rise with satisfaction. The only major trouble i had was when a neighbor's dog caught it with his claw and tore it back open. It's healed itself down to a thick, short line on my forearm, but it's sufficient for me. Every time I see the small scar on my arm, I remember who I am and who I want to be. Now a litle disclaimer: I am not the average Wiccan. There is likely no one else out there that follows quite the same path I do. I am very eclectic. I have taken from Wicca, Shamanism, Viking, Celtic, Christian, and other religions. Body Modification is not a part of my religion, per se. I just wanted a way to combine it and my religion, and this seemed perfect. I chose to brand myself, but I do not know many other Wiccans or Pagans who would use this method to bring themselves closer to the Gods. To each his own. The ritual knife I mentioned is used only as a symbol, not for killing little babies or such shit.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 09 Feb. 2000
in Scarification

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Artist: Me
Studio: at+home
Location: Texas

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