en browsing here on BME for quite some time, reading about branding, scarification, etc. I was especially interested in the cutting. I managed to get a scalpel from school, our science teacher doesn't keep very good inventory on supplies. So when I got home, I sterlized it the best I could, boiling water, alcohol, then I put it in the oven for a little while. I decided it was okay for my purposes, then retrieved it, and decided just to slice my upper arm and see what it felt like. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, but I got a slight rush of endorphins, so I poured some alcohol on it, and got an instant rush that was more intense. It was almost like being on pot, only faster and more intense...colors get more intense, and so does the movements and sounds, but it only lasts a few seconds...and then you come down...so I decided I liked it...cutting right now isn't necassarily a religious or getting-connected-with-myself movement, but it certainly gives me a rush. And for right now, that's as far as I want to go...I always pour alcohol into a deep cut once or twice, to give me a rush, then I make a new cut...permanent scarring would be cool, but I can't do that right now because I still live at home with my parents, and they'd disown me...at my age, there's not many places I can live, so I'm safer just doing things that they'll never notice. If you've ever had an endorphin rush, accidentally or on purpose, you probably know it's as addicting as anything else, at least for me, but not as harmful. Really deep cuts work well for rushes, too! Q&A I Had Q. Will it hurt too much to continue? A. Hell no, if you get a rush...that means not making a really shallow cut, it won't hurt enough and you won't get a rush! Get brave and go deep...then irritate it with alcohol. Q. How can I make my cut not permanently scar? A. I've never had one permanently scar, because I only irritate them once or twice then move on for a new pain site. Q. Should I use a professional artist? A. I've considered using one later, if I ever want a permanent design, but right now I'm a) too young and b) not in want of a permanent design. Q. Should I let people see my scars? A. I've let some of my good friends see my original cuts, and I've told them about the rush I get...but a lot of them are goodie goodies and don't believe in "getting high" so I have pretty much had to keep the cuts to myself. Q. What exactly is the rush like? A. Immediately, everything is more intense...obviously, a huge message is being sent to your brain like "Hello! Pain! Send relief!" and it happens and your brain's on overload. I've discovered that I can get a bigger rush by cutting, not letting the endorphins reach me before I make some other cuts and then all the cuts pain relief is bunched together for the last cut I make, plus some extras because that's just what happens, and I get a really big rush. Q. Does the above method prolong the rush? A. No, it just makes it more intense for the time being. Once I got a heache cuz I'd made several little slices on my inner upper arm...very painful and many endorphins were released and it was too intense, I had to close my eyes and turn off my radio...I was listening to KISS and suddenly Ace's guitar was just too much! Q. Where can I get the biggest rushes from? A. My most intense pain sites have been my inner, upper forearm, the palm of my hand, and the fleshy part of your foot right above the arch, on the side. My tongue has worked well, too, but that scar took a long time to heal and the pain was far more intense than the rush, so I don't recommend it because I had a lot of pain, and a minimal rush. The eyelid is really good, too, but be careful of your eyeball! Q. Where is the least conspicuous? A. If you don't where a lot of sleevless shirts, use your upper arm...same with shorts, if you don't wear a lot of them, you can use your legs...I did my eyelid on a weekend when my parents weren't home and put a bunch of concealer on it when they got home. If you have long hair, the back of your neck is a good idea, too.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 16 Oct. 1999