self-styled razor mods
been involved with body mods in some sort of way for quite a few years now. It began with my first tattoo at 16, which was subsequently followed by seven others since then, including celtic, oriental, and other blackwork of various design. And as time wore on, my interest in piercing grew as well. Now up to ten individual piercings, including 0ga nipples, 2ga PA, 1" earlobes, and other misc metal. As the whole culture managed to swallow me up, I began to educate myself, and read the staple RE:Search books like Modern Primitives, and Bob Flanagan: Supermasochist. I began to do research of my own, in magazines like Body Play, PFIQ, Nat'l Geo., medical texts and more, to fill my brain with body manipulation information. The more I learned, the more i experimented on myself performing a lot of the stretching and a piercing or two on my own. At first though, I was quite uneducated. I think the first time I ever tried to pierce myself was in sixth grade....trying to pierce my nose. I had already suffered tormnent for being the only boy in school to have his ear pierced, but i didnt care. Trying to pierce it it hurt too much for me though, and I wussed out. Then, sometime later in high school, I attempted to pierce my nipple with a safety pin. I cleaned the area and pin, and pushed i through, which was difficult to do, bith because of the pain and toughness of the flesh. I later learned that it was because of my horribly inferior equipment. A laser sharp piercing needle and a safety pin are worlds apart. I managed to get it through though,and left it in for about a week. It was, of course very sensitive. At the end of the week though, it became quite bothersome and really not worth it. And, because of my ignorance on the subject, I got nervous and just took it out. Then, a year or so later, I went to a concert, and the singer of some band had a la For quite some time, I had others perform mods(tat artists, piercers)but had not done anything on myself in a long time. This is when I began thinking of my old misadventures as a home piercer. I'm sure I made every mistake in the book, but it made me feel good to do something to myself. So, needless to say, I got that itch once again. Some may call it self mutilation, but that's only because we're here in ignorant America, where people think they know everything. Is ear stretching and scarifacation a mutilation in Africa, or is it a rich tradition dating back thousands of years? I'll take the latter. Most recently though, I've begun to work on scarifacation. I had commonly performed misc cuttings with razor blades even before my BodMod interest, so it seemed like the logical next step. This the part where concerned parents and school counselors add their bit about self-hate, low self esteem, and suicidal ideations. But, they have no home here. This is the one place to speak freely without judgement about body modifacation, and other "shocking" things our generation does to our bodies. in my scarifacation exploits, i do my best to keep it safe. Of course, single use blades, gloves, alcohol, and proper(well as proper as possible at home)sanitizing is observed. Anyway, the first time I tried to really make a good lasting mark was a simple straight line on myleft arm (being right handed, it only made sense). I even went to the point of tracing with a pen where i wanted it to go and then looking at it in a mirror, because i didnt want ity to come out diagnally without me realizing. So, with guide line in place, I went forth with the cut, in a slow precise motion. I found out with experience that quick slashes are better, but the slow ones tend to be deeper, and that's what I wanted. I knew I would want to add to this, so a line was a good place to start from. As the weeks went by, I would add a few new marks to my rapidly growing upper forearm band of scars. Taking some inspiration from my celtic tattoos, i created a sort of interlocking design that goes all the way around, however more geometrical than celtic knotwork. The framework of this design is the deeepest and thickest of the cuts, making one bold line that continues throughout, with many smaller, more detailed lines and dashes to accentuate it. Since I really took my time and made the effort to do the research, Feel as though my design came out better than most home-jobs would. Perhaps my interest in art gave me an edge from a design perspective, but regardless, I thing it's great. And as for the pain: it was nothing at all to deal with, barely anyt whatsoever. Rubbinmg in alcohol and picking scabs was worse than the cutting itself. I have made another very exciting discovery also, since it has all healed. I have found that the now keloided area is sensitive in a way that it never had been before. So, my mind wandered into "other" activities, and I began to imagine what it would be like to perform cuttings of a more sexual manner..........but i'll have to find the right woman for that. I am working on getting some photos of my armband scanned, and as soon as i have them i'll send an update.
Return to Scarification experiences
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 15 Aug. 1999