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not a name brand.......

Hello all. I am a new contributor to here, and having read most of the posts, i fear that mine may not be as interesting, but here goes.

Let me give you a little background. Having grown up in a tiny Michigan town (graduating class of only 45 people) I have never really been into body modification. Most of my life I was among the closed minded "did that hurt-hyuck,hycuk, why would you do that? shucks...wanna see my deer hunting gun and pitchfork?" kind of mind set. As i got a little older I got a little interested in tattoos, but i KNEW i would never go any farther then that. At 17 I got my first tattoo, and perhaps I will share that experience at a later date.

I had my ears pierced, but it was the basic earlobe-gun-pierce that my mother got me when i was 7. Nothing too extreme. I mean, only freaks got anything else done, right?

Over the years my views sort of lightened up a bit. Two years ago I went with my best friend to get her belly button pierced. Although I had loosened up enough to go, after witnessing it I still felt it was a little too national geographic rite of passage looking for me. Now Im twenty two, and I don't know why, but lately ive had a realization. It's ok to do those things. And I found myself being drawn more and more to reading about and learning about body modification. I cant really say why this has occurred, but my fascination with it started about three months ago. I had just read "The story of O". for those of you who haven't read it, its a bdsm story that includes both branding and piercing scenes. Being a rather new dabbler in bdsm myself, I was intrigued by the idea of getting pierced for sexual reasons, as well as aesthetic reasons. I read all I could get my grubby little hands on and decided that I wanted to get my nipple pierced. Then I needed to get my nipple pierced. It became almost an obsession. So I went and did it. Oh, but gentle reader, that is yet another adventure.

All this has lead up to what I really want to share with you, my latest bod mod. A self brand.

You see, after getting my nipple done, I felt clear headed, grounded, and like myself for the first in years. Who would have thought that inflicting pain upon yourself and shoving a foreign object through your skin could do that?

And after that I knew I was hooked.

I began exploring other possibilities, and decided I wanted to try a small brand, and I wanted to do it myself. Again I read all the info I could get my hands on, and still chose to do it myself, although I wouldn't recommend the way I did it, because it was neither the safest of most sterile way to go, but like me, no ones warnings will stop you when you are determined.

My boyfriend did not approve, and refused to help me in my quest. So after work one night, while he was still at work, i set about obtaining the scarred flesh i desired.

First off, I decided what sort of design I wanted. Not knowing if I could tolerate the pain, I choose to start with a small circle-a dot, really. If that was tolerable, I would try to turn it into a flower, or an asterisk of sorts. I choose to put this above my left ankle, on the inside of my leg, as it was the easiest area to see and work on.

I swabbed the area of my leg off with alcohol, and i boiled the utensils i had chosen to use, which were a pair of pliers, and a stainless steel nail, with a small head, and about an inch long.

Having cleaned those off best I could, I sat cross legged on the floor with my back against the couch. I took the pliers and grasped the nail with them in one hand. In the other I held a lighter. I put the head of the nail into the flame until it turned first black and then red hot. I took a deep breath, tried to relax myself, and pressed the red-hot head of the nail into my skin.

There was a loud "POP", followed by a short sizzle. The pain at first was excruciating, but as the skin burned, it became less. When the sizzle stopped I pulled the nail free.

As the endorphins hit me I became a little light headed, and waited about 5 minutes until my hands stopped shaking. I then proceeded to turn the nail around, and using the long part i put 8 "rays" coming out of the dot, like a child's drawing of a sun. When that was done, I finished up by putting three more dots on the outside of the"sun", at north, east, and west.

It didn't hurt at all then, and I wondered if I went deep enough. I put Neosporin on it, covered it with a bandage, and went to sleep.

When I awake the next day, I took off the bandage to see it had all spread and my sun was now more of an asterisk, a design I actually preferred.

Its been almost a week now, and its starting to scab. The area all around it is very red, and it hurts now more then it did at first, again making me wonder if i went deep enough, because i was under the understanding that if you cauterized your skin it wouldn't hurt, but i am probably wrong.

Having never done this before, Im not sure how well it will scar up, but Im glad i tried, anyway. If it doesn't work, I may not try again, though.

My family hasn't seen it yet, and my boyfriend still is mad at me for doing it against his wishes, but you know what? I'm happy, and that's what matters most.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 01 May 1999
in Scarification

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