• 58,926 / 1,367,194
  • 64 / 7,705
  • 58 / 54,891

My Interest in Modification

I realized from a very young age that I was different. I don't think I fully comprehended what my future might hold, me being interested in the things I was, but I can't say that I have regrets about any of it. I remember being a mere six years old and headed into kindergarten when I asked my mom if I could have my ears pierced. She was reluctant and I was persistent. It wasn't long before she held my hand as the two forty-something year old ladies with piercing guns surrounded me. Her curly blonde haired and big brown eyed child was about to enter a whole new territory. As I grew older, I begged for more. Each time I won the battle. One lobe piercing turned into two. And then three by the time I was in the third grade. I felt a very unique sense of self. I love the feeling of that endorphin rush, no matter how small, and I wanted more. Once my lobe was full, mom got a bit hesitant to let me move forward. I wanted my helix pierced. This one, I was not wining, and pushed to the back of my mind. It was about this time that the TV show, 'Ripleys: Believe it or Not' began to pick up popularity. I took a divine interest in anything piercing or body modification-related on the show. It was at nine years old I got my first glimpse of the Lizardman. I was mystified and couldn't look away. His looks intrigued my juvenile mind and I couldn't fully wrap my head around everything. Large gauge septum, growing coverage of tattoos, large gauge lobes, and of course, the split tongue. I poured over information at the local library and used school computers to find out what I could about the things I had seen. I was uniquely interested in modifying the body and how he came to look that way. I wanted to know more. By the time I was thirteen, I felt I knew more than I should, and at the same time, yearned for more of that taboo knowledge. That year, I happened to stumble upon this amazing website, BME. It provided me the answers to every question I had. Opened my mind to several things I'd never even thought about or heard of. The art of changing the body through piercing, tattooing, scalpelling, and implanting was truly amazing to me. I wasn't interested in having everything for myself, but I was keenly aware that these things were possible. Between about age twelve and fifteen, I was allowed to get two cartilage piercings, both at the local WalMart. I loved them and cared for them, but between the problems they caused and my gathering information on BME, I quickly learned why I could feel shattered cartilage. I vowed to never get near a piercing gun again. At age 15 I got my first tattoo. A few months later, my tongue was pierced as my mom prayed that they wouldn't hit a vein. She'd become very strongly against my interest in piercing and tattooing. She began referring to the local studio as the 'devil worshippers place'. She considered 'heavier' modifications as anything other than ear piercings, and my dad was at my side the entire time. He was the person I could turn to if I needed a waiver signed or permission to alter my body in some way. He didn't always agree with it, but he let me get what I wanted to have, following the 'let them make their own mistakes' role. By the time I was of age, I'd had over twenty piercings and about ten hours of tattoo work. Some piercings were experimental, some done by myself. While I'm not a DIY advocate, I did do my homework and was comfortable with the risks I was taking. I still have a few piercings today, but many of them perished at the average age of 4-6 months old. I lost interest, they rejected, wouldn't heal, or caused other complications. No longer completely satisfied with simple piercings and tattoos, I began to look elsewhere. Living in a small town overrun with antique shops wasn't the ideal area to find a place to get other things done, so I patiently waited. And waited. One day I heard a modification artist was visiting nearby. I made my decision instantly to have my tongue split, and within two months it was done. I was ecstatic. I'd had it in the back of my mind for a decade, and it was finally reality. Much to my surprise, my mom wasn't angry with me, she just didn't understand the age old question of why. Me unable to explain and her unable to understand, we hit a stalemate. We finally agreed to disagree, and now she barely bats an eye when I get something new. Having my tongue split was a very unique experience. One I will never forget, that's for sure. As it was being done, I felt my mind make a transition into the future. I realized that this was completely permanent, and I didn't want it any other way. I longed for more permanent change, such as scarification and large gauge dermal punches. I began to desire those heavier modifications I'd admired from afar. The split did not last, and it re-grew about halfway. Obviously, I had it re-cut. Between the initial split and my re-split, I've had over a year to contemplate my future. I want to experience so much within this realm of modifying the body, yet I want to take my time and proceed with caution. I don't think I have a desire to get pierced much anymore. Maybe on a whim, but I feel as though I've 'been there, done that' so to speak, and I've barely been on this earth two decades. I realize it's much more important to take my time when deciding whether or not alter my body eternally. Piercing leaves dimples, scars are scars. I know that my mind will continue to grow and absorb new information as I examine other procedures I may be interested in having done. I feel I've come an astonishingly long way from where I was when I got that first piercing, and I'm really amazed at how much I feel I've grown up since then. I'm much more self aware and in-tune with myself. I feel as though by knowing myself, I've grown to love myself more and more. I'm comfortable where I am, although I know I'll never be completely satisfied until I've experienced each new modification that sticks in my mind. Until then, I can only embrace what I've had done and the future changes I wish to make to my body.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 30 Oct. 2008
in Culture

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