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Virtual penectomy almost real

Ok here we go! lets first say that what I did is a stupid thing to do without a doctor. Many things can go wrong. I dreamt of it since I tried Xilocaine the first time...it was so sad to have the feeling of your cock back so soon. So I started browsing the net looking for information. Banding was not in my interest as far as I got to know that you may damage permanently your cock and not have an erection anymore. For who followed me so far this sounds like a ridiculous statement but it is not. One thing is to chop your cock, another thing is to have it there without any life.

So I decided to go for injections of Neurolytic agents. There are many. I tried Ipoclorite. I set up everything in the right place. Than I felled the syringe with the liquid and tried to inject....no way at all...too burning. I than tried with an anesthetic and injected. Still, once the anesthetic was gone the feeling was back again. I than decided to try another approach. A put the needle into the right dorsal nerve and injected the anesthetic, as far as I felt the cock becoming numb immediately I realized that I spotted the nerve. I than took the syringe away and firmly kept the needle in place not to lose the spot. I than filled the siring with the Ipoclorite and injected it in the same spot. The result is that instead of coming back in 15 minutes, the feeling never come back again.

I was soo excited that not only I did it on the left side of my cock but also in the nerves of the lower side. I spend the night very excited. I could not feel a thing and the idea for it to be permanent made me more excited but....ups....once I finally decided to cum I couldn't. Imagine to try to grab your dick but not being able to do it like if your hands are tight up behind your back.

Still I was very excited and horny. I finally cum but it was more psychological than physical I indeed stop try nonsense to rub my cock agains anything just to feel that I couldn't feel it and start steering at him very intensely. I cum after maybe 20 minutes that I was looking at my cock.

Today I woke up and still I could not believe I had to go to work. I wanted to stay and play with my new toy (thought no erection this morning for whatever reason)

Finally I came back tonight. My cock all for myself. But the first problem started. I was not as excited as the day before. It was not as new anymore. I grabbed my cock for 1 hour than I got tired.  I than start watching TV and at a certain point I was fingering my ass almost without realizing it. I than took a pen (likely I am meatotomized) and with some oil I started sounding myself. Actually this is apparently the only way I have to achieve an orgasm.

 

Since what I did is apparently permanent, I got kind of a break down when I realized I would have to put my fingers up to my ass for ever in order to cum. Well, it really appears I am starting considering other way to experiment sex (I am gay but I mean, one thing it is to have anal sex, one thing is to be able to have only anal sex). That was after all the general idea I have about penectomy dreams. 

Quick suggestion. If I would have been less stressed I would have stopped with just the upper side or even the right side as I had originally planned. I instead did all around the penis!! So I actually don't have a cock! If I don't look I cannot realize I have it! If you red the story posted in 2008 by an anonymous called virtual penectomy, you will notice that that person tried only with the dorsal nerves, thus he could get some relief anyway. Well, this will never happen to me. No way, it is like having a plastic dildo. No feeling on the tip at all. 

It is something I believe i have to cope with. There is nothing I can do...it is still exciting but what I had is not there anymore. Maybe someday the feeling will get slightly back. If not It will mean that penectomy for me is the way to go and castration as well. I will be smooth maybe sooner than I though, and, on a more personal note, without balls pumping hormone in my blog! It is horrible to feel the need and not being able to do anything.

Details

submitted by: portos
on: 05 Dec. 2012
in Transexual Male Nullification

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