My First Scarification
Since I was young I have always been interested in body modification, always wanting to go bigger and further than what is considered normal and pushing my body beyond what I think I can handle. I was 18 years old at the time when I decided I wanted to go beyond the numeral surface cuttings that I have had, I wanted a permanent planned scar.
Knowing that this would probably be even more permanent than a tattoo I took my time deciding what exactly I wanted and where. I chose a three sided yin-yang, a sign of my BDS&M lifestyle, on my right calf to signify submissiveness as well it is a sign of the bond I have with my boyfriend. I printed off many sizes of the design cutting them out till I found the perfect size and placement for the cutting.
I would not suggest to anyone having someone untrained cut into them. Working with a scalpel can be very dangerous and it takes expertise to know how to go deep enough to scar and shallow enough to not do any damage requiring medical help. Saving money is not worth the possible problems involved with home scarification.
Finally the day came to get the back of my right calf cut open. It was my boyfriend that did it at a friends house on her massage table. Though please note he did have the knowledge and training to be safe and hygienic, as well we had other trained friends near in case something happened. We set up a clean zone wiping down the surfaces with a bleach solution, laying down paper towel and setting up the implements needed to preform the cutting. After we were ready we drew the design on my leg, the first time I was laying down, so when I stood it became closer to elliptical due to the way the muscles moved. We had to rub it off and re-draw it when I was standing, a nerve racking thing as the adrenalin was building along with the fear of wondering how it would feel.
After I was content with the drawing I laid down on the table as my boyfriend scrubbed up. Then the cutting started. Using a scalpel and many different size and shapes of blades he traced the outline of the design. I knew I would be experiencing pain, therefore having to keep my sugars up, so I had juice and cookies on hand. What I was not expecting was how much it would hurt, it took most of what I had to just lay there and continue with the cutting. I had a death grip on a friends fingers and the other arm was occupied being wrapped around a stuffed animal when I was not taking a break to have some juice or nibble a cookie. Even though I knew it hurt I also knew that no matter how much it hurt the pain was temporary and forever I would have the scar. Even with that knowledge my body still had a limit after almost 2 hours of outlining to the desired depth I was too far in shock to go on. I spent the rest of the night recuperating with cuddles in front of the tv.
A couple days later I was back on the table ready for more. I still had my cookies, candies and juice but this time I also had a teething ring to help me deal with the pain. This time my boyfriend removed the skin on the outside ring of design in three parts. Again after about 2 hours my body has decided that it had enough. By the third time things were much smoother, my boyfriend was getting faster and I was better prepared for the sensations involved. It took about an hour and a half to remove the centre lines of the design.
After the cutting was done came the aftercare, I had to shower daily scrubbing the wound, which is a painful situation in and of itself. As it was healing I maintained a vigilant watch on the wound, until it healed there was a very real chance of infection as it was such a bit open wound I did go to piercers and talked to medical professionals to ensure my safety as best as I could. After a few weeks it was healed and I was happy to show it off.
After two years the scar has healed much more than I would have liked and I am planning to get it re-done. That is something I am looking towards with mixed feelings, I still remember the pain of the first time but I also know how much it will mean to me and my boyfriend to have it so it will last forever.
Since getting getting my leg done I have since gone to a professional scarification artist to get a design done on my arm. From that I found out that not all cuttings are that painful, it just was the placement that made it painful, as well a professional can do the work much quicker.
submitted by: nighttigress
on: 25 Aug. 2010
in Misc. Scarifications