Well this sucks. That's all i have to say aside from I have to be to work at 5am and its way past my bedtime.

Two days of rest and she's doing better. Her worthless boyfriend is here and will probably talk her into going to a bar.....nothing I can do about it either. Some people just shouldn't be together, its painfull to see two people who bring out the worst in each other and think that's the way it's supposed to be.

one step forward, two steps back...story of my life. 

i came home today to a wasted sister...bloody.  she fell pretty bad. so i washed her wounds in the shower and had her sit on the edge of the tub...she fell back,  before i could catch her she hit her head pretty bad.  i got her all dried up and dressed, after that i put some a&d ointment on her wounds.  now i sit here listening to her breathing as she lays passed out on the couch just in case she has a concussion.  she needs help i can't give her.  i try so hard to take care of her and myself but i feel like i am failing her.  she has been talking about inpatient rehab a lot lately and i just don't have the money to send her away to one.  i need help helping her.

So MrNoMods is right......although I won't be doing the 5am-9pm days working both jobs every day, only a few days a week. And yes, no days off. As of right now I have no choice in the matter, I have to make sure she and I succeed....not live outside our means but survive on my income. I consider myself lucky, she was the last great thing my father created. Knowing he would be doing the same is what gets me through. He died at work, I see myself doing the same, not any time soon though. I was so lucky to have him teach me the value of.......everything. . Anyway, the one year anniversary of his death is July 16th and i want to take his ashes somewhere he hasn't been.....really wish the man didn't travel as much as he did cause every good place I think of within my budget he has been to.

So I already knew what is was like to have no time for myself but this is getting silly.....I haven't been able to make my tat appointment because my schedule doesn't fit with his and vise versa......hmmm, as if I wasn't already down. The new job is good and both places are working with each other so that's a plus. On my days off at the depot I'm at dicks sporting goods store, on my 5am-2pm shifts at the depot I'm scheduled 4-9 at dicks. No days off for a few weeks at least. I need some good REM sleep. As I shake my imaginary eight ball asking when will I get that the answer comes........not likely.