this week i worked 41 or 42 hours, and still had three days off, tonight and tomarrow night, and wed. i took a pill this morning, and its out of my system now and my stomach is starting to hurt again...i am really getting sick of having to take meds everyday in order to do the things i have to get done...someone please help me.

im still feeling very sick, i think i lost like five pounds throwing up this week..yay me...i wish the pain would stop. im sick of taking these pills.

so i guess my biggest mistake was, i got out of bed....i would have still been having a blast in toronto if all my shit wasnt stolen, my I.D., S.S. card, car keys, bank book, the works, i mean everything, except my car and clothes, i dont know maybe i should consider myself lucky then....who knows...anyhoo, i want to thank seth and halo and lowphat and lindz for trying to keep my in a good mood, its greatly appreciated....so the weekend ends like this, my parents drove 5 hours just to bring me a set of keys for my car so i could drive home, and, i would have drove ALONE if my sister wasnt willing to take a chance with me and the state of mind i was in....
anyhoo, thats the short version, so THANK YOU again for all the hugz and kisses........

i went to get my stars touched up today, and was offered a job at the shop i go to, they will pay me $75 a day to work from 12 to 8, i dont know if thats 7 days a week, or less, but its money, so im going to go back up there tomorrow and talk with the owner(Tramp)...i dont know him very well, but he knows me as the "crack-heads" ex-employee...lol...i heard some juicy gossip while i was getting work done...the guy who fired me((john)"crack-head") from eastside underground, the one who killed my friend eric by letting him O.D. on herion, is now getting a divorce, lost his house, one of his stores is going bankrupt, and he is sleeping in the basement of the other shop, which is also hurting for money, all because he cant lay off the heroin...HA!!!what a jack ass.....

why do people keep thinking im not getting on with my life??? yeah, so i know i have had some set backs, i lost my house, my job, two good "friends", another job, had an abortion, moved back in with dad, all within the last 6 months or so, and now im trying to get things back in order, so i tried to make a relationship work, knowing that there was no point, or good that would come out of it, so i gave up, and now im "not kosher"...dont ask me...personally i dont like people who dwell on things or drag em' out, under certain circumstances i catch myself doing it and will try to stop it, other times i feel like its ok to just cry, and let it out, but, why does it seem like im the only one crying about it, like im the only one who cares, when there are two people involved, why is it only one takes responsibilty for the matter?