ever changing

always the same

 

inked- back ribs ankle wrist

pierced- 1/2" lobes, vch

 

 

 

Diary

200407200117
7/20/2004 | 0 comments

iam so not happy right now-
and it seems that there isn't a damn thing
i can do about it-

sleep would make some sense- probably a lot
of sense- but i just don't give a shit-

i feel like i don't give a shit about
most everything- like nothing matters-

being at the beach right now- 1am-
sitting in the cold sand-
listening to the tide- seeing only the white
foam in the darkness-

that would feel really good -

up from the dungeon
7/14/2004 | 0 comments

your time with me has ended-
now hear these words-
and understand them well-

i despise you-
with every breath
i have taken-

you left me for dead-
and i watched as you
violated her-

listen to me carefully-
i am very much alive-
and my soul is burning-

what you stole from me-
has been restored-
my life is my own-

there is no fear-
i hold no doubt-
i choose to live-

but you have taken
innocence and
locked her away-

i am coming for her-
your chains hold no power-
she will be free-

remember me when you burn in hell-

for the guy who sexually assaulted me, a long time ago

200407131835
7/13/2004 | 0 comments


ok- so iam blissfully awake until 3am-
the phone rings at 8:30am- god knows why-
the little one- awake-
forgot to buy coffee - damn-

i pull it together in the Most major way-
and head to the music store-
drums- violins- bass- flutes- chimes- and
onto the guitars-

ahh-taylors-martins-hmmm...a baby martin-go figure-
damn-sounds good-how much? not bad-should i-
shouldn't i ? what the hell am i here for ?

oh yeah- gig stand- 3- 5- or 7-
5 it will be-

ok- and onto the heavy stuff w/ amps-
and now it's his turn-

prop him up on a stool- plug him into a pevey and he's psyched-
what a riot- what a scene- the mini-electric- the mondo amp- the staff

and he says-
'is this sounding really loud??'

and i tell him-
yeah baby- it sounds so good'

'can i buy it now?'

'no sweet-remember-when u sleep in the bed by yourself-
maybe next month we'll come back & get it'

too funny-

perspective/rested- hopeful
7/9/2004 | 0 comments

i'm so happy- actually had- 7 hours sleep
(shhh- i'm afraid it won't happen again)

AND saw my own damn dreams- (maybe u don't dream much on 4 hours??)

i thought for a minute i was in vermont-
there were so many stars- and the moon was sort of crescent but
a bit tipped- then i looked in another direction and yep-
another moon - and another-

very cool dream- 3 or 4 moons- stars all around-

i wonder what night sky it was-

200407042201
7/4/2004 | 0 comments


choices-
choices-
choices-

every fucking day-



Petition


I wish...

The following people signed this petition:

ohsuzanne "( I wish I could take a shower right now.)"
northern lights "(for inner peace....and lots of chocolate!)"
MeShell "(for joy)"
bodybuilderef "(I was indenpendently wealthy)"
prettypinkkitty007 "(my student loans were paid off.)"
ubuntu "(my teeth were fixed)"
Curt "(you great happiness!)"
.caitlin. "(I didn't have to worry about money)"
ShaggyDope "(i wish i was on a freight train.)"
-Matt- "(..I never had to work, and that noone would ever get sick anymore)"
rayneofsorrow "(I Could be at peace in my head)"
VEAL "(Where did I end up? lol)"
sane "(, i wish i wish i'd never eatin' that fish)"
mountainmansamiam "(I would have had a soul mate, but my number was never drawn)"
sweetcheeks "(For piece of mind, that's all I want.)"
CorruptedChuck "(Peace)"
death kisses "( )"
visiblydistorted "(that our grandchildrens' grandchildren won't be corporate slaves)"
BadlyDrawnGirl "(that i could shower ALONE, i have 2 kids. )"
paulo4127 "(I wish I could time travel)"
chemically_lobotomized "(perfect health, smaller boobies, HAWT boyfriend with a big wang!)"
shalla_bal "(I wish for one more day with Gary)"
cirrin "(for peace, inner as well as world)"
catalaioch "(I knew what to wish for. . .)"
Guilt of Eve "(I could breathe under water!)"
charlie_ihsan "(For my Dad's cancer to go away. )"
vizante "(... to play piercing right now )"
The Rainbow Panda "(That every guy was at least Bi. lol)"
HEDGEHOG51 "(I could be content with what I have)"
Lethalgirl "(for respect, love, honor, passion, commitment, learning)"
xJAXONx "( )"
Modster "(For a content life)"
nopek "(for guidance and acceptance)"
Plaid "(i was an oscar meyer weiner. that is what i truely wish to be...)"
thepiercedbird "(for a tuna sammich)"
vmaxgirl "(to love like I have never been hurt before)"
INGUSWETRUST
GnomeChomsky "(for my work to be miraculously closed tomorrow)"
DejaMoon "(to just let go. )"
fluffykins "(i could leave )"
Sugar "(for permanent remission from lupus!)"
MizzGrell "(To win the Super 7 so I'll get all that money and help people)"
urban.herbalist "(I had ten fingers.)"
Saline the Salt Cake Queen "(you lived closer and under a rainbow)"
Dawnie "( )"
i say death "(i could just give up and sleep forever)"
Jim "(I had more time)"
Mariposa "(Things would have worked out differently...)"
Miseraya Companya "(To be healthy, mentally and physically.)"
Jol "(I didnt have to always worry)"
Rawiri "(love for everyone)"
Hell on Wheels "(for only the best for the people i care about)"
Jae "(travel was faster and easier)"
TheJestfulPoet "(Dirt)"
CausticTwin "(inner peace as well as being financially able to not work. )"
aack "(I was back home)"
KnifeInTheMarathon
Starr "(i wish i could really fly high above it all...just like in my dreams-)"
darthlaurian "(I could be with my love)"
Eclipsed "(this was easier..)"
Chadgrisly "(I hope you enjoyed passing through. Visit our souvenir shop....)"
Amadahy "(winter will be over quickly)"
kleptesvirgo "( )"
())crayon))> "(I had someone to cuddle)"
You.Are.Beautiful. "(happiness, well-being, peace, and harmony for everyone.)"
EziliGede "(to keep it together and raise my sons well)"
Morning_Star "(Dreams that come true.....)"
helena "(Eternal vacation!)"
HeadlessLego "(Upon a starr...)"
Granger "(for peace, happiness and enough money to get more tattoos)"
YoungMom "(For health and happiness for my friends and family)"
Madsteel "(i could look like before pregnancy...)"
Deeeluxxx "( )"
Celticgent "(happiness to everyone.)"
rebekahsXrevenge "(that we could all see the beauty of life without having to suffer)"
Kalinkina "( )"
lost and found "(to be at peace)"
Alledria "(it would continue raining so I have an excuse to stay in)"
blackandblue "( )"
Sean_P "(Early retirement!)"
dazedeagle "(...oh how I wish.)"
Zobot "(I was a baller!)"
EvenFlow "(My vacation started today)"
3mmy "(i had some monnnnney)"
Caroline452 "(The world wasn't so quick to judge me by my appearence)"
Shaman "(To learn to live with remembering.)"
Veasy "(I can go Home some day. )"
Nikkimodifiedbeauty92 "(That more people could see me for the girl I am and that everyone could accept each other without judgment )"  

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