ever changing

always the same

 

inked- back ribs ankle wrist

pierced- 1/2" lobes, vch

 

 

 

Diary

200501021552
1/2/2005 | 2 comments

from Beautiful Ending's page-
it really made me think


01. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? hmm...QUITE a few unbelievable things-

03. Did anyone close to you give birth? soon enough!

04. Did anyone close to you die? no thanx- i've had my fill

05. What countries did you visit? Utopia

06. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
organization in my space, ink: kanji, addition to my back & something that me & my sweetie will both have done

07. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? when my head hit the floor- the date? i couldn't care less

08. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
clean & sober for life

09. What was your biggest failure?
hmm...allowing the external to impact me so negatively

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? no thank you-

11. What was the best thing you bought? an electric guitar for the little guy

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my mother-in-law, who knew she'd try real hard to be nice


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
just 'X'

14. Where did most of your money go?
hmm- WHO the fuck knows

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
meeting my LDR for the first time

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?

'drive'- incubus

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder?

at this moment i'm sad, but i'm more whole and more happy, so i accept the sadness too

ii. thinner or fatter?
thinner- too much stress- hoping for just 4 lbs more

iii. richer or poorer? HAA!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
enjoyed more of the present

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
worry about the unknown

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
well this year i DID enjoy the present with every loved one who was around me, next year, i hope my LDR is here with me

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yeah... who knew!

23. How many one-night stands?
now- now

24. What was your favorite TV program?
hm- probably Clifford puppy days

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hate? no

26. What was the best book you read?
'the love letters of Elizabeth Barrett & Robert Browning'

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Andrea Bocelli- en italiano, cuts straight to my soul

28. What did you want and get?

clarity

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
hm... i don't know

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Ha- i sat around in the aftershock of the 'X' having slammed my head into the floor, while my family tried to make it a sweet day for the little one

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

having seen my LDR more often

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
umm... it's ALL about panties
34. What kept you sane?
IAM, my girlfriends, the little guy, my mom, my supervisor at the shelter and Catalaioch

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
hm- no idea

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
issue- no issue, just the 'democratic' (cough- cough) process

37. Who did you miss? my dad, my aunt, my girlfriend in Florida, my girlfriend who i finally located after 6 yrs and of course, my sweetie

38. Who was the best new person you met?
my love, Catalaioch

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.

hm...i think i understand that not too much really matters, there is so much bullshit, so many things we are offended by, or angered by, or for me- stressed out by people's reactions. i'm learning that it's all so insignificant, i know it in my mind and in my heart but... i have to apply it. love, kindness, appreciation- what else is there really?

200412282338
12/28/2004 | 2 comments

...and that is ever the difference
between the wise and the unwise-
the latter wonders at what is unusual,
the wise man wonders at the usual.

~ralph waldo emerson~

200412202307
12/20/2004 | 0 comments

so- the year's comin' to an end...

so much has changed- for the better- no doubt- but u know-
i was thinkin' pregnancy, labor & childbirth was NOT such a party- and change of the significant kind- can be damn long & hard-

thank god we don't recall the journey down that birth canal-

200412140956
12/14/2004 | 2 comments

these things we know-

the moon was beyond amazing last night, hanging low in the early evening...

the earth will continue to move at a steady pace, whether i am afraid or not...

the FedEx man is my hero of the moment...

She who sees from up high is surely smiling...

and in THIS moment...I am so happy~

200412080143
12/8/2004 | 6 comments

ahh- lightening & thunder outside at 1:40am- reminds me of who iam- mmm... there it goes again- and now- i can finally say... goodnite : )

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ubuntu "(my teeth were fixed)"
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.caitlin. "(I didn't have to worry about money)"
ShaggyDope "(i wish i was on a freight train.)"
-Matt- "(..I never had to work, and that noone would ever get sick anymore)"
rayneofsorrow "(I Could be at peace in my head)"
VEAL "(Where did I end up? lol)"
sane "(, i wish i wish i'd never eatin' that fish)"
mountainmansamiam "(I would have had a soul mate, but my number was never drawn)"
sweetcheeks "(For piece of mind, that's all I want.)"
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catalaioch "(I knew what to wish for. . .)"
Guilt of Eve "(I could breathe under water!)"
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vizante "(... to play piercing right now )"
The Rainbow Panda "(That every guy was at least Bi. lol)"
HEDGEHOG51 "(I could be content with what I have)"
Lethalgirl "(for respect, love, honor, passion, commitment, learning)"
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Modster "(For a content life)"
nopek "(for guidance and acceptance)"
Plaid "(i was an oscar meyer weiner. that is what i truely wish to be...)"
thepiercedbird "(for a tuna sammich)"
vmaxgirl "(to love like I have never been hurt before)"
INGUSWETRUST
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Sugar "(for permanent remission from lupus!)"
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urban.herbalist "(I had ten fingers.)"
Saline the Salt Cake Queen "(you lived closer and under a rainbow)"
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i say death "(i could just give up and sleep forever)"
Jim "(I had more time)"
Mariposa "(Things would have worked out differently...)"
Miseraya Companya "(To be healthy, mentally and physically.)"
Jol "(I didnt have to always worry)"
Rawiri "(love for everyone)"
Hell on Wheels "(for only the best for the people i care about)"
Jae "(travel was faster and easier)"
TheJestfulPoet "(Dirt)"
CausticTwin "(inner peace as well as being financially able to not work. )"
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Starr "(i wish i could really fly high above it all...just like in my dreams-)"
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