"I have come too far, and I cannot return..."


Last updated on March 14, 2011 February 5, 2016 March 1, 2019



I am:

  • 32 years old 37 years old 40 years old
  • Looking at BME pages since the BME/WORLD started.
  • Member of IAM since August, 2002
  • Former maker of body jewelery.
  • I have lived in the Wizard's Tower... (In fact, it's "mine") A funky apartment in Kensington Market, in a building covered in psychedelic paintings, I've been there for 5 years as of April 1st. 2011 Now live in my dead grandparent's derelict and disintegrating house since end of May, 2011
  • I live with a girl named Gilly-Bean, a busker named Jamie who is about to move out, my long term girlfriend/fiancée (see below) and my two four kitties Aurynn Pants Magnificence (a magnificent tabby) and the Golden-eyed Commander of Wishes ("Goldie") (a gold, white and black calico) AND NOW Rudy (a grey tortie) and Norman (a beautiful sealpoint himalayan)
  • After about a decade of polyamory and womanizing I am in a single recent (1.5 months) long term (5 years as of tomorrow) (8+ years) awesome(sauce) relationship, with DJ Perple Doorknob Broomstick AKA City Center. 
  • Now recovering from a major depressive episode that lasted since late 2009/early 2010. still struggle with depression and anxiety sometimes but doing pretty ok in the grand scheme of things as of 2016. rarely suffer from serious depression or anxiety anymore.
  • I make art-objects, art installations, sacred spaces, and sometimes paint or draw (badly). Sometimes I make electronic music or mixes. I throw raves and volunteer at parties and festivals. Frankly these days I mostly work, drink beer, embroider, paint, play video games, do gardening and the occasional nature walks and sometimes cook a fancy meal for the ol' lady. I am a member of the local NDP so actually have to volunteer to do political crap. This is a lot more occupying during campaign season.
  • I have a propensity for breaking into impromptu dances and/or improvised song (this has still not changed as of 2016 2019)
  •  Can't wait for 2020 so I can compare the state of the world to the old RPG Cyberpunk 2020



    100 percent all-canadian beefcake! Who do you think of when you mastrubate? K-HOLE


A strange wind is Blowing.
12/26/2003 | 0 comments

Well, here we go. Meg left an odd message on my new digital recorder, something about loving someone and how cant they realise it. Or something. I don't remember. Apparently she invited ben over tongiht. Heather made out like a bandit for gifts today as far as things from other people go... a new computer, a DVD player, 350 dollars, plus a shared gift with me of 50 dollars... wow. I got a CD tower, and socks, **BLIST1END**

I got some cool presents today/last night. A rubik's cube. A lego spybot (woo!) and a CD tower, amongst other things. Heather liked the slippers I got her. And chocolate, and more chocolate... and hahaha the ring. Some people got very excited when she opened that up, since I guess it bears a passing resemblance to an engagement ring. Hahaha. I dont have that kind of money! Haaa.

Thankfully my gift exchange recipient got thier present safely. I get so paranoid about these things sometimes, I just want people to be happy. The sting of neglect is horrible isn't it? Yes.

Speaking of which, christmases often serve to simply remind me of how mediocre my relationship with my parents really is. I called my mother and she just started blabbing about Andrea. As always. Not me, not her, not richard, not my sister, but andrea. I called my father, who should have been expecting that, since thats what we planned on... he was supposed to meet me, but no. Didn't answer his phones, didn't return my call. Yeah.

Well, enough of that shit, I can't wait to get home and set up heather's new computer (1.6 gHz, 480 MB RAM! hell of a step up from my 133MHz, 64 MB ram Piece of Shit relic!). Now, I know there was some talk of my mom and richard getting ME a new computer and if that happens... well, hehehehe. I know what my father got me... a photo printer. Finally we'll be able to unload our digital cameras at HOME! And yeah, print pictures if we want, and that is good. Hmmm.

Oh yes Liz's IAM account expired. Thats such shit. Liz Come Back!

12/25/2003 | 0 comments

and i definately have a lot of home hobby projects i want to work on now. some of them might actually make me money.

12/25/2003 | 0 comments

Gifts, I got a great lego spybot, now I want all of them! Doubles then we can do versus missions and stuff yeah! Weee! Ben gave me some stuff too - a cool escher book (tattoo designs anyone?) and "Mr. T in your pocket" great stuff, in fact lots of presents were flying around - meg gave us a cookbook, christina brought us cookies, hmmm meg brought us cranberry bliss bars, well, actually i was so wasted last night (I drank more and smoked more weed than I have in a long time, and I took atleast 5 tylenol 3s to pick things up) that I am going to have to go home and look at them all because - well, I don't remember last night very well at all. hahaha, i remember it was fun.

PIssin me off!
12/23/2003 | 0 comments

NO matter what I Do, my "primary scratch disk" is too full to fix up my pin up photos, I'm going to have to take them to my moms house to fix. ALso I made a new forum - check it out.

I'm Goin' to MEXICO!!!!!
12/22/2003 | 0 comments

So, work was interesting today. WHen I showed up, only Sandy was there. Keary had a doctors appointment so he didn't come until about 330. Tom didn't come till about 4 and god knows how many customers didn't get served because of that. Myself, I was busily making curved barbells, and a bit of stuff for myself. In the mean time I got this email:

"You have submitted two images this year, putting you in 19th place (tied with 46 other people) on the leaderboards. You would need to submit one more image to be tied for 18th place, or 107 to tie for first place. You have not yet submitted any experiences (the top contributor submitted zero). "

Time to get ahead while I can! I know heddi is getting a new computer for christmas (im almost certain) and funnily enough, I think I may be too. This will make unloading digital images a lot easier and more enticing, and I will be able to contribute far more.

Also, today we got shannyn and josh's wedding invitation. Get ThiS! Barcela Maya Beach Resort in the exotic Mayan Riviera. Located on a 2km private beach of white sand and surrounded by a natural park. This resort offers an all inclusive arrangement, daily buffet breakfast, lunch and dinner, unlimited drinks nightly entertainment, disco and assorted sporting activities.

Woo hoo! I'm there!

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