11/23/2013 | 1 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I've been given a presentation assignment that is due in two weeks. I knew it had been coming since the start of this month but I couldn't get started on it until this week because my lecturer hadn't given my class the briefing (you're noticing a trend here, right?) I have to give a presentation on an ethical issue with a classmate. I can choose the issue and the classmate. I suggested to my classmate that we spend this week researching various issues and then come together on Monday to discuss our findings.

I've been looking at experience machines and survival lottery. I emailed my lecturer to clarify whether I can give the presentation on these issues because I'm not sure how relevant they will be. I don't mind short deadlines but they're difficult when we study part-time and the lecturers work part-time.

I finally sent off my UCAS form today. After all the BS I finally got my personal statement feedback last week. I got another pass with merits. Meh. I'm not enjoying the structure of my course. I don't feel challenged or inspired. I'm also a little frustrated at the misinformation I have been given. I don't want to be that annoying student who contradicts what they are told.

I'm stressing a little about my UCAS application. I am 95% happy with it. And, you know, I did awesome in my university interview? But I know my tutor is going to ask me to change or add something. In her last piece of feedback she suggested I add more course choices in case I don't get my first. Bear in mind, my university application reflects my wants. Can you see the problem here? I will apply through clearing if I don't get my first choice. If I don't like my options I'll get some union training and reapply next year.

Another suggestion she made is to write about what I have gained from doing my college course. I don't want to lie on my application form. Is there a diplomatic way of saying my college course just reminds me of everything I dislike about the education system? The cookie-cutter mentality, the lack of student-led learning, time constraints..?

This is such a hard position to be in. I really like my tutor and she kept me calm during a pretty awful month of my life. I'm thankful that she gave me an opportunity to do this course even though I missed the first few weeks due to work commitments and illness. As a teacher she is spectacular but the tutorials are seriously lacking.

I'm just hoping she'll let me do my thing and have faith I'll get the outcome I want.

11/15/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: Video

 I watched Henry and June tonight. NSFW obviously (and geez, why watch a two hour video at work?)

11/13/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

Just one of those days, like Fred Durst said.

Ah it's hard to describe. I'm sure most of you have experienced something like it. There's a disagreement between you and someone else, you've been wronged and they've been inconvenienced. Nobody's at fault. But they just don't see your side of the story. Rather than acknowledge a freak accident occurred they accuse you of lying, or being confused. And the disagreement cannot be resolved one way or the other. The sense of injustice infuriates you. You'd be happy if they only disagreed, but to accuse you is too much.

This may sound like a lovers quarrel but it's actually relating to my course. FFFFFUUUU.



11/10/2013 | 2 comments | offline
Tags: Video

I find Marina's dance really uplifting.

11/6/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I'm such a sucky online friend, I know. I'm such a sucky friend IRL too. I just don't keep in touch with people as much as I should.

In my defense this month is giving me a beating. November has always been exciting for me. I love this time of year. But, meh, I have to deal with things I'd rather spend the rest of my life hiding from. Oh.

The only thing cheering me up is that I'm doing well in my course. This feels wonderful considering my anxiety has taken away my ability to speak up in lessons. I also got passes with merits on my assignments. I was pretty sure I'd fail because my word count was 33% less than requested. Plus, I was writing essays/reports without any help during the planning stages. Wow.

I know I need to read more. I'm not sure why I stopped reading so much. Numerous people tell me I should start reading journals and articles everyday to prepare myself for the amount of work I'll be doing in university. My concentration is so bad, but I feel motivated by my good results.

I have new shoes.


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