4/7/2014 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: beauty

Just sayin'. By summer my hair will be long enough for this awesome style.

Also, I'm so nervous about my interview today that I think I'll be sick. Gah!!!

4/6/2014 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I treated myself to an ugly jumper today. Oh wow. It feels great, I will upload a picture later this week if I'm not too busy. The jumper is a pale terracotta colour and has rhinestones and silver chains on it. It's going to be a nightmare to wash. I only just realised that.

I was checking myself out in the mirror earlier and I don't like what I see. And I've finally admitted it is a problem. I always thought my bad health is something I could deal with later on. Occasionally I try to change my lifestyle but it is so physically arduous I give up. Over the year things have just become more and more difficult. I never thought I'd see the day when everything felt like too much effort. It's sad. I'm trying to figure out what to do about it.

I ended up getting rejected for all four jobs I interviewed for last week. I took it hard. But I was extremely excited when one of the interviewers phoned me to say that wanted to recruit me for a temporary summer position. I spent Friday trying to sort that out (I needed to arrange a time to meet and register with the temping agency as well as speak to the department team leader).

However, towards the end of the day it became apparent some sort of miscommunication took place. The department were expecting me to start fulltime. I pointed this out and they wanted to know if the original interviewer who offered me the role knew about this. I did discuss this previously but I'm assuming the confusion occurred because the jobs I applied for were fulltime roles but I had applied for them as a job share.

So I have a follow-up interview tomorrow to discuss my situation. I've asked for a six week parttime period so I can try to complete my course early. I know my teacher will not be happy but I'm too desperate to turn away work any more, plus the job search is distracting me. I do not think I'll be able to complete my course with this much upheaval.

I'm hoping I can appeal to my teacher's goodwill. The interviewer has set up this job role so I'll be fulltime during summer and then they will take me on adhoc during my time at university. Tomorrow is also the start of the end of term holiday so I won't be able to speak to my teacher for a fortnight. I may have to make a snap decision tomorrow and I'm afraid that waiting may cause me to lose this role and accepting my ruin my chances of completing (which will result in me not meeting the criteria to get admitted into university).

So whatever happens I need to make a major dent in my project this week. Speaking of which, I found this book in Oxfam. I haven't looked at it yet but I hope it'll have some usable material in!

4/2/2014 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I used to do this thing two years ago called Ugly Jumper of the Day™ back when I had a facebook. One of my interviewees yesterday said he liked how colourful I was. I happened to put on an old jumper because all my smart clothes were in the wash. I hadn't really thought about it but I do miss colours. I think I got rid of all my cute/weird/silly clothes when I was going through my last I-deserve-to-live-in-a-monochrome-misery phase.

I particularly miss my Girl jumper. It was hideous, but it made me (and others) laugh.

What's going on with those gems and that happy blob cuddling the letters? Just too strange.

Another one of my favourite old jumpers is a red shrunken jumper I bought from a charity shop, the pompoms used to fall off because the previous owner must have washed it at a too high temperature. I was so comfy and I loved tucking my legs up in it and pulling the sleeves over my hands.

Finally, every now and again I kid myself that I can escape memories of my past but cutting all association with it. It's a dumb idea. Mainly because I love stripes and I've been wearing them since I was seventeen. Even if stripes are a fashion faux pas, screw that! Then are fun. And I'll only end up buying stripey tops again when I feel better.

I enjoy clothes, I hate using the term fashion because it's loaded with associations of experts only being allowed to define what fashion is. And there's always a pull between people who think fashion is haute couture and those who think it is frivolous. I hope one day there can be actual discussions surrounding fashion and accessibility, in the same way we now discuss art and accessibility.

But until that time I'll just say I feel good when I am wearing bold and bright colours, it makes me feel loud.

4/1/2014 | 1 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

This week is so full of interviews and everyone seems to do everything last minute. By some miracle there have been no diary clashes.

I felt a bit ill after my interview yesterday but I went to college. Suddenly I felt dizzy and had to find somewhere to sit down. I made a decision to go home and cancel my jobseekers review (why did I have to be ill for the three hours during which I was supposed to sign on!?) My interviewer from the morning said she's call me back so when the phone rang I jumped up. The person who I spoke to invited me to an interview today and said she'd forward an email to me.

I checked my email late yesterday afternoon and I had two new messages. One inviting me to an interview on Thursday and another from my work experience placement manager saying the centre was closed on Thursday so I wasn't needed in and that I would be doing some more mock interviews today. Yay.

The mock interviews today went really well. But I felt a bit distracted because I wanted to find out more about the role I had been invited to interview for this afternoon. I still hadn't received an email and I started to doubt myself about who phoned me (it was from a private number so I couldn't redial). I was afraid about sending an email asking for more information because I wasn't clear on who was interviewing me or for what role and I thought my lack of knowledge would look unprofessional. I eventually contacted the HR department in two different universities (yes, in my panic I began to think I had misheard the name of the university). I found out where my interview was and the only time they could see me was in the late afternoon.

After I replied to the email I received another email from the cultural exchange company I interviewed with last week. They want to do a follow up interview tomorrow.

This week has been so busy but satisfying. I'm glad I did mock interviews with students today because my brain was still in interview mode this afternoon. When I left the university I felt as though I had given one of my best interviews. I felt confident. Wee. I hope they want me. I'll find out on Friday.

3/28/2014 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I have an interview at a library on Monday. I'm hoping I'll start feeling optimistic soon.

It's getting towards the end of my FE course and some of my classmates are stressing about missing out on their first choice university if they don't do well enough in the next assignments. Tempers are flaring, which makes it hard for me to feel any sympathy. I'd like to think I'm an understanding compassionate person, but geez I have limits.

Cry me a frickin' river.


The following people signed this petition:

Sign this petition


view all
Collage (1 posts)
IAM Left Thinking (695 posts)
IAM: UK (2638 posts)
Depression (4094 posts)
Cute (3 posts)
IAM: Crackberry (1034 posts)
Magical realism (1 posts)
BIKE BIKES BIKES (15819 posts)
IAM: a Pokénerd (471 posts)
IAM.CAPRICORN (178 posts)
IAM:Avant-garde (49 posts)
IAM: Radical (1185 posts)


Collage (1 posts)
Cute (3 posts)
Magical realism (1 posts)


Female Tattoo Show

Sept. 14 @ 10 AM
Category: Convention

For more info see femaletattooshow.co.uk
London Tattoo Convention

Sept. 26 @ 12 PM
Category: Convention

More info at thelondontattooconvention.com

Back to Top