4/2/2014 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I used to do this thing two years ago called Ugly Jumper of the Day™ back when I had a facebook. One of my interviewees yesterday said he liked how colourful I was. I happened to put on an old jumper because all my smart clothes were in the wash. I hadn't really thought about it but I do miss colours. I think I got rid of all my cute/weird/silly clothes when I was going through my last I-deserve-to-live-in-a-monochrome-misery phase.

I particularly miss my Girl jumper. It was hideous, but it made me (and others) laugh.

What's going on with those gems and that happy blob cuddling the letters? Just too strange.

Another one of my favourite old jumpers is a red shrunken jumper I bought from a charity shop, the pompoms used to fall off because the previous owner must have washed it at a too high temperature. I was so comfy and I loved tucking my legs up in it and pulling the sleeves over my hands.

Finally, every now and again I kid myself that I can escape memories of my past but cutting all association with it. It's a dumb idea. Mainly because I love stripes and I've been wearing them since I was seventeen. Even if stripes are a fashion faux pas, screw that! Then are fun. And I'll only end up buying stripey tops again when I feel better.

I enjoy clothes, I hate using the term fashion because it's loaded with associations of experts only being allowed to define what fashion is. And there's always a pull between people who think fashion is haute couture and those who think it is frivolous. I hope one day there can be actual discussions surrounding fashion and accessibility, in the same way we now discuss art and accessibility.

But until that time I'll just say I feel good when I am wearing bold and bright colours, it makes me feel loud.

4/1/2014 | 1 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

This week is so full of interviews and everyone seems to do everything last minute. By some miracle there have been no diary clashes.

I felt a bit ill after my interview yesterday but I went to college. Suddenly I felt dizzy and had to find somewhere to sit down. I made a decision to go home and cancel my jobseekers review (why did I have to be ill for the three hours during which I was supposed to sign on!?) My interviewer from the morning said she's call me back so when the phone rang I jumped up. The person who I spoke to invited me to an interview today and said she'd forward an email to me.

I checked my email late yesterday afternoon and I had two new messages. One inviting me to an interview on Thursday and another from my work experience placement manager saying the centre was closed on Thursday so I wasn't needed in and that I would be doing some more mock interviews today. Yay.

The mock interviews today went really well. But I felt a bit distracted because I wanted to find out more about the role I had been invited to interview for this afternoon. I still hadn't received an email and I started to doubt myself about who phoned me (it was from a private number so I couldn't redial). I was afraid about sending an email asking for more information because I wasn't clear on who was interviewing me or for what role and I thought my lack of knowledge would look unprofessional. I eventually contacted the HR department in two different universities (yes, in my panic I began to think I had misheard the name of the university). I found out where my interview was and the only time they could see me was in the late afternoon.

After I replied to the email I received another email from the cultural exchange company I interviewed with last week. They want to do a follow up interview tomorrow.

This week has been so busy but satisfying. I'm glad I did mock interviews with students today because my brain was still in interview mode this afternoon. When I left the university I felt as though I had given one of my best interviews. I felt confident. Wee. I hope they want me. I'll find out on Friday.

3/28/2014 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I have an interview at a library on Monday. I'm hoping I'll start feeling optimistic soon.

It's getting towards the end of my FE course and some of my classmates are stressing about missing out on their first choice university if they don't do well enough in the next assignments. Tempers are flaring, which makes it hard for me to feel any sympathy. I'd like to think I'm an understanding compassionate person, but geez I have limits.

Cry me a frickin' river.

3/22/2014 | 1 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

Last week I did some mock interviews in my work experience placement. I was the interviewer and I had to interview a group of teenagers from widening participation backgrounds. It was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute of it. There were a few weird moments because I had to get into character for the interview and a few people couldn't tell when I got out of character. By chance I did a couple of mock college interviews and I was able to give actual relevant advice using my knowledge from previous student support roles. Wow. That felt good and I felt even better when I saw my interviewees walking off with big smiles on their faces.

I've got a proper job interview on Monday for a company that organises cultural exchange programmes. The work is adhoc. The company invited me in to interview for another role yesterday but they only gave me a few hours notice so I couldn't make it. I'm a bit disappointed as the role they wanted me to interview for yesterday included accommodation! That would've been so sweet.

I had a one-to-one with my tutor last week and my feedback was OK. I have to hand in a rough draft of my project next week. I've been having some problems with it but my teacher gave me some theories to look up which will help me along. So, yeah, farewell relaxing weekend.

I met my friend in a cafe yesterday and we were talking about how close it is to our course end date! It was good to blow off some steam. I've been plagued with a recurring nightmare this week and I'm sure it's a manifestation of some other rubbish things I've had to deal with. It's kinda weird because in my dreams I am trying to reconcile with people in my past and I find out I'm dead but my motor skills are still going and my soul is trying to stay connected. I keep going to hospitals to see specialists but they all say I'm dead and there's nothing they can do.

I wake up feeling like I just don't have the time or ability to make peace.

As I was about to leave the cafe yesterday a lady tried to snatch my handbag. I saw the handle looped around her foot and I pulled it off her. She didn't even make eye contact with me. Although I know she didn't have a chance to look inside it I kept checking it for missing things. It's not like I have anything good to steal right now. Ha. She stunk of alcohol and looked like she was going through a tough time. I realised I was trying to check my belongings without her seeing... like I didn't want to embarrass her by showing my distrust of her. Then I knew I was behaving silly because I was doubting what I saw earlier.

I've started double/triple-checking everything today. I know everything is OK and normal but it feels like something's amiss.

3/18/2014 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: tattoo

I looked at facebook.com/GildedCageTattooStudio yesterday and stumbled across this beauty.

The artist, Paco, has a cancellation next week. Gah. I'd love to book in so badly but I just don't have the money Cry

While I was looking for the above image I noticed Pozan has a cancellation tomorrow too.

I wish tattooists near me didn't get cancellations. It's too tempting.


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