Diary

Story
6/29/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

Kinda excited to see my story on BME tattoo stories.

bme.com/media/story/3401659

I was so excited I linked it on my academia.edu profile. Though, I know it's definitely not academic (especially with that glaring typo). I'm proud, it's the first thing I've written for the public since 2001 when an article I wrote about Kim Deal was put on sweetcherrie.com.

I've been away for a couple of weeks because I went to a union conference in Liverpool. My account expired while I was there and I couldn't be bothered to renew because I had an infection (probably from dehydration from the conference hall and hotel air conditioning). I was feeling a bit sorry for myself.

I went to the Tate Liverpool. I felt really inspired to write for the first time in a decade. I saw 160 cm Line Tattooed on 4 People El Gallo Arte Contemporáneo. Salamanca, Spain. December 2000. It got me thinking about body autonomy, or lack of. I've got a lot I want to say about that. But I guess beating myself up for half of my life has made expressing my opinions hard to do.

I've been surrounded by really supportive people for the last fortnight. Ah, so much to say. Maybe I'll save it for the next update.

I'm just listening to a handful of my favourite HellCat tracks:

Aggrolites

Mister Misery
The Sufferer
Free Time
Tear That Falls

Slackers

Dead Or Alive
The Question
No More Crying
Old Dog
Mommy
Who Knows
Runaway
Sarah
Propaganda
86 The Mayo
Anastasia

Hepcat

Nigel
Spins
Earthquake & Fire

King Django

Reason
Hustle The Mac

Dave Hillyard

Playtime
Angry Lady

People
6/15/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: food

Today was People's Day. A few of my ex-colleagues were volunteering, so I went down to have a look around. It was such fun and I loved catching up with everyone. I was particularly happy there were goats.

goats

Despite dozens of food stands, I decided to go to Upper Gardner Street Market and Jolly Green Cafe. Jolly Green Cafe is all kinds of awesome. They have an original menu. I don't know how they come up with these combinations but they are exquisite.

Hot chocolate, I know it's made with coconut milk and vanilla. The taste is rich and exciting.

Hot Chocolate

Supernatural Noodle Box. Underneath this beautiful spread is, I think, shredded beetroot and apple. Lovely.

Supernatural Noodle Box

I went to town to pick up some bits and bobs. Previously, I had been able to get Bottle Green Elderflower and Pomegranate cordial in the 99p Store. But it looks like they no longer stock it. Boo. They only have presse now. So, I decided to try Higher Living chai tea. I like the ingredients listed on chai tea, I haven't tried it before (that I recall). It sounds autumnal, which I approve of.

I took some photos of some flowers on my way home. Flowers just make me feel happy.

Yellow FlowerPurple Flower

Thousand
6/14/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I'm edging towards one thousand page views. Wow.

Job hunting is harder work than working. Yes, it's cliche. But that's how I feel. Especially because I want to be working in education.

I only gained experience of working in a college since I moved to Brighton. So, now I have relevant experience. Back in Dorset I had no experience outside of finance and that was the basis for all of my rejections.

Now job applications are painful. I put so much effort and dedication to each application. It actually hurts to be rejected. Last week I cried when I was phoned with feedback from my last interview. What makes it worse is that I'm always told We really liked you and we encourage you to reapply for any other vacancies. I'm not even sure if they mean that, or whether it's a stock phrase.

I feel like a burden on my friend who I'm staying with. I want to help out with money. I know I have to keep on applying and take any job that comes at me. I'm scared of getting into a rut and working back in insurance or banking. It's an easy industry to get into but it's hard to get out of. If I stay there for too long my college experience will become out-of-date.

People may criticise me for whining about not getting a job I want in a recession. But, my job has always been a big part of my life. I think of it as a reflection of my character. I have always felt passionate about working where I can do good. Also, as a shy lady, my work is my social life.

I am questioning whether I should just give up on my dream job. For years it seemed like an impossibility, but over the past few months I felt like I was getting invited to more interviews. I no longer feel like I have the strength to pursue these jobs. It's draining. And, surely, not being able to get a job that requires no qualifications show that I'm not cut out for it!? It's not a defeatest attitude, it's a fact.

I'm wondering if my friends and ex-colleagues are just talking me up. They always tell me I can do what I want with my life. Ten years of experience tell me otherwise. Their words feel so hollow.

Marwood
6/13/2013 | 1 comments | offline
Tags: food

I spent today running errands. Doing some last minute preparation for a conference I am attending next week. I went to the Marwood for a pre-counseling chill out. The counseling session was the most grueling yet.

My favourite cafe back home is Boscanova. They do a drink called London Fog. My friend Kelly reviews it at monstermakes.blogspot.co.uk - FYI, the vegan option used to be called Boscombe Fog, but they've since changed it to London Fog - with soy. BORING. In my heart it will always be Boscombe Fog. BRING BACK BOSCOMBE FOG!!!

Anyway, the Marwood do a spiced white hot chocolate. I've had it three or four times now. It's awesome. I can almost picture myself back in Boscanova.

Without further ado...

spiced white hot chocolate

My husband had the cappuccino

cappuccino

Here are some photos of the decor and the view. Just because.

garden view

mugs

corner

table

room

chair

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