7/29/2013 | 1 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I changed the layout of my CV yesterday. I just made it two columns and added a lavender header. I sent it to a temping agency this morning and I was invited to an interview three hours later. I'll find out about the gallery job next week also.

I tried doing yoga this afternoon. I've thought my body has felt weaker in my months of seclusion, but I didn't realise how much until today. My balance is the worst. I used to be more flexible. I just ended up doing a load of stretches to try and strengthen myself up again.

Funnily enough, the same thing has happened with my vocabulary. My pronunciation has become embarrassing. The think the problem is having too much to say and my mouth not being able to keep up. I'm getting syllables mixed up. I'm finding it almost impossible to remember words.

Thinking back to being a better person I've come up with some shortterm goals to start me back on the path to healthiness. Another thing is accepting that I can't fix everything now.

One of my scariest recurring nightmares is that I wake up in the future and I don't know how I got there. I can't find people I know and I'm not sure where I live or how to begin looking for the missing parts of my life. This nightmare has been my reality for months.

I want to say so many things but I know it's going to take a while until the time is right.

0 comments | offline
Tags: Books

(The image links to a PDF.) I'm in a fairytale mood this afternoon. Don't forget to add to the five word fairytale.

0 comments | offline
Tags: art

7/28/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

I was home alone yesterday, it was one of those days when I should've been around people. My mind drifted into unhappy places but I think I have a pretty decent plan for making the rest of my thirties as enjoyable as possible.

I realise I need to readjust my frame of mind. I feel like I know what's best for me but trusting my feelings is difficult. I read marandaelizabeth.com yesterday, I could relate to a lot of things they said. But what really struck me was an interview with Dave Cave where Maranda made a comment about being a better person. This is something we want for ourselves but Maranda asked What does a better person look like to you?

I'm not sure what a better person looks like but I'm sure I'm not a better person. What small things can I do to be better? Because in all truthfulness it'll be a decade before I could have the life I want for myself. What can I do so I don't lose motivation like I have in previous years? Often, I get frustrated with all the difficulties I face so I give up and go somewhere else. What can I do to ensure that doesn't happen?

Also, what can I do in my day-to-day life to keep on track? I'm a workaholic (when I do have a job) but in my evenings home alone I feel empty. How do I get through these times?

I went for a walk today. It was tiring but the exercise felt good. I've become too reclusive.

I stopped in a charity shop and found a Momiji doll for 99p and I saw my favourite gallery is looking for a parttime assistant who doesn't need any experience! Two of my old friends from Dorset also got in contact this weekend. Pesto was half price in my local shop too, so I'm looking forward to a yummy dinner. Froyo time this evening.

My panties match my background image:

Also, Whatcha like to get busy to?

7/27/2013 | 0 comments | offline
Tags: reflection

My thoughts are with you today. Happy Birthday. You still mean so much to me.


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