"There is no coming to consciousness without pain"

Well, I just got here. That's not really true anymore, but all this still feels new and exploration-worthy to me.
I'm not really good with this whole 'talk about myself' affair, so if you'd want to know what, why and how I got into all of this, please read the story of my personal ascension.

I definitely seem to have developed a passion for body suspension. And because this community seems to be THE place to be to live that passion, I decided to join your little world here. I want to learn as much as I can about it.

No Forum - but I like getting messages. And don't be afraid of the tracking thingie; it doesn't bite.

Events I`d want to attend this year:

My favourite pastime when I`m around here:

 

Diary

same procedure as last year...same procedure as every year!
7/30/2010 | 0 comments


Bad knee or no bad knee - I didn't let this deter me from attending the VI. Swiss IAM meeting. This event is the one that started it all for me four years ago when I attended it for the first time, marking my first contact with this community. Sadly, as in that first year, I did not suspend this time around - which would have been a bad idea what with all the medication I was taking. Although Alice would loved to have loved to do a 1 pt "grapefruit" suspension with me on my left knee that looked like said fruit, size-wise :=)
This year was really laid back, with less people attending than in previous years, which made the atmosphere really nice and relaxed. And although I was missing some people I knew and was looking forward to meet again, there were quite a few new faces. I'm especially happy about 'Team France' (Klem and gis girlfrind Julie) coming, who took on the longest road trip in the hottest weather for this. Quite a few first-time suspensions, too, which all went swimmingly. Everybody had a great time - look at those smiling faces: (as usual, click through to enlarge pics)

     

Martin did one of his trademark chest suspensions. That's something I really want to do but don't feel ready for.... but one day, I will....



This transition from shock and pain to blissful happiness in people as they ascend from hooks in their skin and then hang free is one of the most powerful things ever, and definitely one reason why I can't seem to get enough of watching them, especially in nice outdoor settings like here.
And there was more than suspensions - Rolf, in addition to doing his, um, 30th or so coma suspension,  acquired a pretty bold facial cutting by Iestyn (who, along with Benoit and Alice from Constant Elevation, facilitated the suspensions)  that really was scary to watch being done - the amount of blood being shed was crazy...

 

Here's some more pictures - enjoy: 



I really enjoyed it, and definitely will be back next year. Thank you Keff, Sandy and Fabian for organizing it!

Ouch....
7/15/2010 | 13 comments


It seems like that EVERY TIME I plan on attending a get-together that involves hooks and fun, some higher power decides to deter me from that by making something in my body act up. Grrrrr... :(
When going to work last Tuesday, I noticed that the underside of my left knee hurt when touched and there was a bit of pain in it when I strained it. Thought nothing much of it. Well, until Saturday. Went to get my car from the shop (finally! No more boring auto trans loaner!) and stopped by my folks in Germany.  Keen eye that my mom has, first thing she said was "hey, what's up with your leg - it's getting thick".  Well, it WAS. Over the wekeend, it kept growing and growing and growing - to truly elephantastic proportions. And started to hurt *real bad*.
So I went to the Dr. on Monday to have it checked out. She sent me to the university hospital ER right away, after about thirty seconds of looking at it. There, I was seen by three different doctors, including the head guy, in the course of 45 minutes. Despite that and doing a battery of tests, they were unable to determine what caused this condition. After draining the fluid (180 ml of it!) and getting samples of everything for more lab tests, I was sent home with a pair of crutches, some braces and a couple painkiller and anti-inflammatory prescriptions.
This is how it looked there, and still looks (click through to enlarge to horrific size):

 

It hasn't changed at all since Monday night. Had the thing drained three times now, and it fills up again with fluid as fast as you can take it out.
Note the scars just above my knees - these are from last November ( yeah... I know why I don't like large hooks and am deadly afraid of tearing!) and everyone was asking about them.

Side note: I am totally amazed on how well the hospital experience went down with me. I used to get nauseous from the smell, and the sight of uniformed staff brandishing surgical instruments left me terrorized. Well, not any more. I guess getting involved with you guys took care of that for good. After putting 6g needles and hooks into yourself, I guess being poked with stuff just loses its scare factor.

Oh, and I will NOT let this deter me from going to show up at the Swiss meeting tomorrow. And I didn't cancel next week's trip to Hungary, either so far. Knock on wood...

two hundred and thirty-three..
6/29/2010 | 0 comments


that, according to the time recording printout I received, is  the number of "overtime" hours I have accumulated since Jan.1st. And that does not even include any of the work stuff I do from home nor the rather extensive travel I do. I do love my job, and don't have an issue with working more than the 40 hours/week I'm supposed to - but too much is too much, and I'm a "MrNiceGuy" type of person who feels the need to always satisfy anybody's requests, but now I'm feeling exploited big time. It's not the lacking compensation (I'm not getting paid anything for 'overtime'), it's that bean-counter mentality of the upper echeleons around here who seem to be oblivious to the situation - we're down to to three people in the department from five, all that with responsibilities added at the same time. I feel so overworked and just tired ever since getting back from my vacation two months ago just to find a huge-ass pile of work on my desk, and I desperately want to go back to a point where I don't have to rely on externally administered substances to feel happy and euphoric  - especially since that brings only short-term relief and has too many side effects. So there's going to be some changes one way or the other pretty soon.
End work rant. Feels good to write that down and have it out, even when nobody will read it.
Eh... I'm feeling strangely comfortable in here lately. I'm a very 'private' person, and writing about personal stuff (even more so, putting it out on the internet publicly) used to be a concept I dismissed as "not for me". But I credit this community in general and one of you in particular with changing this attitude, and I have to say it does have its merits. Funny, though, seeing how (almost) everyone else laments that it's getting quiet around here lately - I definitely seem to prefer the more intimate and obscure atmosphere.
In better news, personal issues are, well, better. Somewhat. And I got all my data back from the crash I had. Had to have this done professionally, but it's all restored and accounted for now. Hopefully I'll have some time to sort through all the pictures (I still owe y'all a few updates!) soon.
Oh, and I do manage to get away from the desk from time to time. Attended another music festival two weeks ago, so it's not all bad. Some pictures for you to enjoy (Rammstein definitely delivers most awesome shows!), and I had a very good time there. The guys with the pickup bed pool were our neighbors at the campsite - that thing was awesome! I rented an RV for the weekend, and, yes, that's the way to go for events like this and will definitely be repeated for Coachella next year.

Rammstein did an awesome show with enough pyrotechnics to start WWIII. I actually had to retreat back from the my position near the stage because it just got eyebrow-searing hot.(as usual, click through to enlarge pics...)

   
 
  Love the "Crowdsurfing verboten" sign... and there's no such thing as bad weather :). Friday was hot and sunny, Sat. was cloudy and just right, and Sunday it rained...

   
       

And I went on a mountain bike trip to the Alps last weekend - this is just a bit more than one hour's drive from where I live. That was the first time I took my foldable, not-really-quite-fit-for this-task (skinny slicky road tires!) mountain bike to the test, and it held up better than expected. Fun times!



 

geeky stuff..
6/5/2010 | 0 comments


In the process of rebuilding all my computer stuff that was fried/killed last weekend. Luckily, I could return that expensive SSD, so I didn't spend the money for nothing. I love SSDs, they are so fast and all-around good. Could not imagine going back to "normal" drives now. Plus, it looks like the data on my NAS can be salvaged - added my old drives into the replacement unit which arrived today, and it's currently rebuilding the RAID. Well, we'll see what's coming out of that, but I'm confident! So I might only have lost a week of emails and files on the laptop drive instead of almost everything
Speaking of which, I got a brand-spanking new Dell now. Sure, it's really fast (what, quad-core CPU on a laptop?) and has all the bells and whistles you expect from a current top-of-the-line business machine - but I don't particularly like it. Never been a fan of widescreen displays - they're good for watching movies, but where's the horizontal space? And the keyboard as well as general build quality is really shitty compared with my old IBM. It's flexing and the shiny surface will scratch in no time.. Due to the keyboard layout being different from the Thinkpads I've been working with for over a decade now, I constantly keep hitting the wrong keys when typing, too. "FN" "C" opens some networking control instead of copying stuff! Argh! Can't wait to get mine back!

Feeling a bit better in general, too. Just letting things settle for awhile seems to help. Still a bit down, but nothing I can't manage.
Plus, the weather has finally caught up with the season and it's all nice, sunny and warm instead of cold, rainy and plain depressing. About time and just right in time for the outdoor concert/festival season - there's a few coming up soon I'm really looking forward to attending: Greenfield festival next weekend, and AC/DC on Tuesday!

Hey, I might just continue this for awhile. Writing things down has proven to be helpful in dealing with things, and it's not as awkward as I thought... so why not use this space for what's it was intended? (thanks for the inspiration and the guidance, you know who you are!)

And I could not resist - a lot of (pricey) geeky goodness:


some days I just want to end...
5/30/2010 | 0 comments


No, this is not the Dallas suscon picture update. Unfortunately not. Laptop royally shit the bed today - a power surge (caused by lightning from a nbearby thunderstorm) fried the innards for good. The bad thing is that the NAS array where I have my image backup was attached to the thing at the time and is also dead, as is the brand-new 256GB SSD ($700, ouch!) I just put in there last week where all the images are on... It's gonna be a ton of work getting everything operational back again. Not looking forward to that.



Feel like shit, too and don't really have the desire to engage in any kind of social activity right now. You see, I'm not really what you would call an open, outgoing personality. It takes a lot for me to be emphatic with others, open up to and build a trust relationship with them. Well, there is someone to whom I did. And now I've been askedtold I should not be (as) involved and distance myself. Feels like having been dumped by text message. And I can't even be mad at the other party (and I am not. Really.) as there were reasons that I have to accept as valid. This makes it even harder, as there's nobody to project the blame on. Still, it f*cking hurts. Time will tell, though, and I hopeknow things will get better, as they always do. I really do not want to lose this friendship, it means a lot to me.

Anyway, I'm going to curl up on the sofa, kill the rest of the bottle of Havana Club Añejo 15 Años I just opened (hmmm....gooood stuff) get wasted (yeah... about time!) and watch a couple Dennis Hopper movies in memoriam. In case you didn't know, he died on Friday. He was one of my all-time favorite actors who made even the trashiest B-movie worth watching with his presence.
Hey, and maybe I wake up tomorrow and all of this just turns out to be a bad dream, who knows? Yay for drunken posts, I guess I'd never have written this sober... maybe I really should blow my mind to kingdom come a bit more often, it definitely feels good now. And seeing that things seem to be pretty quiet around here nowadays (hey, ever tried to search "nose piercing" or "body suspension" on google - BME doesn't even turn up on the first page of results! :o ) privacy isn't that much of a concern any more, so, yeah, I think I can risk going a bit more personal.
Cheers, and here's to a nice Labor Day/Spring Bank Holiday!

 
I wish I had words, man. I wish I had words...
(Dennis Hopper, Apocalypse Now)

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