2/24/2022 | 0 comments


Desert Daze, 2017

Sunday, October 15


Obviously shouldn't have waited this long. Gonna see if I can scrape any memories out of the old noggin.

This was the second and last year at the Institute of Mentalphysics that I went to with Bastian, the year we lived the dream of taking the dogs to a music festival in an RV. No doubt we spent the early part of the day getting them out, strolling the campgrounds, leisurely preparing for our final day of festivities.

According to my booklet, I started the day soon after opening with a John Dwyer DJ set, then saw most of The Creation Factory (don't remember them) before seeing some of Drugdealer (vaguely remember them, and I enjoyed them).

Saw Death Valley Girls on the main stage with a small early day crowd, then a bit of Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, whom I believe I also saw a bit of at Coachella this year. Then Celebration, which I don't remember.

I remember The Babe Rainbow around 3:30 in the afternoon, they were okay. Fun, and I believe Australian. They had a certain swagger, but the music wasn't great. Sat in the shade on the steps of the sanctuary and tried to enjoy Weyes Blood, but I just can't get into her music, so I went into the Sanctuary for a bit to fnally check out the light and sound show that they had going on in there. It was domed on the inside, with images projected onto the ceiling. Bit pillows were scattered about, with people resting on them in groups or individually. I believe I had already taken the acid at this point, but don't recall exactly. I suspect I was partly using it as come-up place. Anyway, after ten or fifteen minutes I got bored, so I went to see a little bit of Earthlings? at the Wright Tent.

As they ended at 4:30 and The Allah-Las went on at 4:45, I imagine I swung by the RV at this time. If I hadn't taken acid already at this point, I likely took it now. 

Saw all of The Allah-Las from my spot on the dirt hill to the side of the Moon Stage. I enjoyed them quite a bit. From here, I have a squiggly line under LA Witch, so I may have only seen a small bit of them. Not quite sure what the line means in this context, haha.

Back to the RV from there, for dinner and beer and dogs. Went to see some of Eagles of Death Metal, but found their music pretty dumb, so went to the Wright Tent and ended up catching the end of Khrungbin, which was magical. I hadn't heard of them before, and they've since gone on to be pretty big. But I got to see them in a tiny tent first, bathed in psychedelic lights. The crowd loved them even then, smooth guitar and all, and it was fun hearing their famous cover medley for the first time, and hear the crowd get into it as they recognized the tunes.

I must've had to leave early, because I next listened to all of Hope Sandoval & The Warm Inventions from a chair in the seating area adjacent to the Block Stage where I'd enjoyed John Cale from the previous night. I was sure to get there to snag a comfy arm chair, and have it noted that I listened to their entire performance. It was lovely music, but I do kinda wish now that I'd watched some of it rather than drift away with my eyes closed for the entirety. Ah well, I sure was comfy after three days of festival.

After Sandoval, I was back at my downed Joshua Tree on the hill at the Moon Stage for Spiritualized. They played for what seemed like a very long time, but it was an hour and fifteen. I remember thinking they were done several times, or had at least come to good ending points, but they went on playing more songs. They played "Cop Shoot Cop", so I was a happy camper.

When they finished, I went back down to the Wright Stage where I fell in love with Cigarettes After Sex. I found it curious to be watching a drummer whose beats were so slow. Loved the black and white romance images projected on screens behind the band. The whole thing was just huge romance vibes and pretty music, and it was such a lovely way to finish out the festival.

Except that I actually finished it out with the last few minutes of Unknown Mortal Orchestra, who finished up everything on the Block Stage. But that CAS set was the real cap to the whole thing.

The whole thing was over before 11:00, and it didn't take long for the place to clear out. Once it seemed everyone had gone, Bastian and I took the dogs out and lived the part of the dream where we explored the grounds of a festival with our dogs. We took them all around and took photos of them with our favorite signs and artwork. It was really fantastic, one of my favorite things I've done.

We stayed on the grounds for a couple of days after the fest, exploring and taking the dogs around and cleaning up, picking up recycling, finding free beers wherever we went. I think I wrote about this at the time. It was also a lot of fun, and made the weekend additionally memorable.

Altogether, Desert Daze 2017 was one of the best weekends of my life. Nothing like that is going to happen for me again, I don't think. Certainly not with the same company. Everything just converged perfectly at that time. 

And it was soon all to go away, though I didn't know it, of course. So it's hard to look back at, too. But remember the good times and be grateful for having had them!



Not giving this one a beer title
2/23/2022 | 0 comments


Scott ignored my texts all week, then texted Sunday morning to ask for his DVDs back. It was weird to say the least, so I agreed to see him, insisting on food.

Upon getting picked up, I asked what was going on, because it sounded like he was breaking off our friendship, and he said he was, so I said forget food, let's just have a conversation here in the car. So we drive around my neighborhood and talked. 

He said he's cocooning, in the process of shutting down. He hates himself so much that he wants me to not be around because I like him. He doesn't want to get better, doesn't want to be helped. 

I tried to clarify my feelings, but I think I failed again. I'm too scared of being abandoned by him that I can't tell the whole truth.  But we talked for about an hour about a few things that needed to be said. There's still so much more, from my perspective. I'm really struggling with how much I've fucked things up with him over the years.

He had to get to his dad's birthday, so dropped me off at home. I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to just let him die, because that's what he wants?



Blind Pirate
2/10/2022 | 0 comments


I've spent essentially every free moment of the last ten days acquiring music, 95% of which was specifically Coachella music. I've been sailing the high seas of the world wide web, and what I have found is going to revolutionize my music consumption. And thank goodness! Just in time for Coachella research!

I started with the artists I didn't know, but thought I might like, then went with the artists I already knew whom I just had fallen behind on. All the while checking them out on Spotify and adding the interesting ones to the list of acquisitions. Then swept through again, focusing on EPs and singles. Then though again, hitting the DJs for their remixes. Took pretty much ten and two thirds days to finish the Coachella artists to an extent I'm satisfied with, though I still have a lot of albums to give a listen to from artists I didn't like enough, in case they have a song or two I like enough.

I think Coachella's going to be amazing this year. Tons of good stuff. I'm finally going to be quite familiar with absolutely everything and be able to make an informed choice at every point. Just have the Do Lab artists to research, whenever it is they're released I will be on it.

Now I'm just surfing about wherever my mind will take me. I think I'll close out my Amazon account, once I've gone through the wishlist. I try not to buy from them, anyway, and really only have the account still for the list. Got a long list on my phone, too, and so much to catch up on from artists I already love that I haven't kept up with, or older artists who I always wanted to get into beyond a greatest hits level. SO EXCITED!!!

Otherwise, things are fine. Gave myself a fairly decent haircut today. Cutting is working, and I'm losing weight. Do feel more tired and less energetic during exercise from the reduced calories, but I can see the hip fat going away, so it's worth it. Look forward to being able to lean bulk.

Been super hot, high 80s in February. Still no rattlesnakes out, but they can't be staying in too much longer. At least it still gets cold at night.

I'm going to get back to sailing, yo ho ho!!



Sparkle Wolf/ Dr Robot
1/19/2022 | 0 comments


Whoops, haven't done this in forever.

Holiday-wise, my mom and niece took the red eye over from Hawaii Christmas night and arrived here early on the 26th. My niece was a surprise visitor for my nephew, and it seemed to go over well as the kids had a great time together for the 10 or so days she was here.

One day we went up to the Korean Friendship Bell area, just to walk around and get a good view of Catalinal. Mom had us drive by the house in Hollywood Riviera that she grew up in.

Another day we went down to Hermosa, and mom showed the kids the house on 24th St, and the one on top of the hill on Silverstrand, which is undergoing some remodeling right now. We went down to the pier to watch the sunset, and the kids played on the protective dunes while I walked the dogs around Millennium Park.

Mom baked a few different kinds of Christmas cookies, and we managed to have a couple family dinners together, when I wasn't working. The niece left on the third, and mom left a couple days later to fly up to NorCal and retrieve her car, which she drove down about a week later, making a stop at her storage unit for her typical organizing.

Then she was here for a few more days of going through boxes and moving things into the storage shed and attic before heading back to Hawaii. My brother had just had another spinal surgery, so she wanted to get back to be there to help. She says she'll be back in a couple months.

Meanwhile we've signed all of the paperwork for the loan, so that's moving forward at a rapid pace. I think we're just waiting on the dispersal now. The appraisal had us in the high 700s.



So a few things different about this one, namely all three headliners (no Rage = heartbroken). At least Danny Elfman's still going to be there! Price went way up, so I'm glad I've held onto my passes for a couple years. I think I can manage to get a couple good weekends out of this. Maybe I'll spend a little more time recovering in camp.

Got my Covid booster today. Arm is killing me, but that's it so far. Got Moderna again, and have yet to have any sort of reaction. Nephew was sick last week, but thank goodness tested negative. We're currently at the point where Omicron is raging, and it looks like pretty much everyone is going to be exposed soon, if they haven't been already (thanks, holiday gatherers). I still don't know anyone who's had a bad case.

Got Sabrina to the vet today for her annual blood test and prescription renewal. She's still doing amazingly great. We went to Runyon this morning, and she had no trouble.

Still trying to get to Canyonback weekly. Traffic is still pretty light in the mornings, with schools and workers being remote. Still not taking it for granted. We've actually been having a good amount of rain this year, which has prevented us from going a couple times. 

Have seen Scott a couple times, first for the movies on Christmas (Matrix wasn't as bad as I anticipated), then a week later for Licorice Pizza. I think we're ok now, but I dunno, I'd hang out more if he was interested.

Cut back calories this week. Not drinking hasn't made my spare tire vanish like I was hoping it would. Or I haven't given it enough time. At any rate, I'm tired of being fat, so time to cut back and then reassess in a few months.

Started a new batch of jars. Hope they're ready by April!





1/2/2022 | 0 comments



1. What did you do in 2021 that you'd never done before?


Changed my name, started injecting testosterone intramuscularly, can now do several pull-ups in a row, began recognizing myself when I look in mirrors




2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


I made several life adjustments pertaining to fitness and nutrition throughout the year in an attempt to meet a physical goal, and will continue to work and tweak with Coachella as a rough finishing line for this first stage.




3. Did anyone close to you give birth?






4. Did anyone close to you die?


My father




5. What countries did you visit?


No countries. Got to visit Deez in Georgia, but the pandemic's kept travels to a minimum.




6. What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?






7. What dates from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?


I'll remember my Halloween trip to GA, as it was really the only memorable thing that I did in 2021 (besides the few concerts I saw).




8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?


Stopped drinking every day, started taking nutrition more seriously and have put on good muscle weight for the first time in my life.




9. What was your biggest failure?


Continued isolation




10. Did you suffer illness or injury?


Nope. Still haven't gotten sick since Covid started.




11. What was the best thing you bought?


Pull-up bar




12. Whose behavior merited celebration?


Everyone who got the vaccine and kept up with the booster schedule




13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?


Anti-vaxxers and science deniers.




14. Where did most of your money go?


stiiizys and insurance (medical, pet, car)




15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?


visiting Deez, putting on muscle, getting vaccinated, and switching to T shots




16. What song will always remind you of 2021?


"I Just Want to Talk To You" by Charles Brown and Sleepy Creek




17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?






18. What do you wish you'd done more of?


Constructive things with my free time. Also sex




19. What do you wish you'd done less of?


Vaping Stiiizys and scrolling reddit




20. How will you be spending Christmas?


This one was spent watching movies with Scott. Would love to do that again next year, as it'll mean he hasn't killed himself.




21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?


Mom, Deez




22. Did you fall in love in 2021?






23. How many one-night stands?



I'm working off an old template, so I don't have the question I replaced this one with, which is 'What music festival lesson did you learn this year?' or something along those lines. If I learned something at Desert Daze this year, it's that I should open up and talk to people more. Let's see if I ever implement that.




24. What was your favorite TV program?






25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?


The people spreading all the Covid vaccine disinformation




26. What was the best book you read?


Ugh, once more, I didn't read any.




27. What was your greatest musical discovery?


It was tough this year with no festivals. That Charles Brown song really is pretty amazing, though.




28. What did you want and get?


IDs and credit cards with my more fitting name on them




29. What did you want and not get?


Someone sweeping my romance-resistant ass off of my feet 




30. What was your favorite film of this year?


I quite enjoyed "Licorice Pizza", minus the whole statutory rape aspect. "All Light Everywhere" was my favorite documentary.




31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?


Turned 39, probably took acid, knowing me. I'll have to go back and check.




32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?


Having my dad around still




33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021?


I no longer fit in the shirts I bought in the last decade, but again fit in the ones I bought in my 20s. So old shirts in the winter, and plain black thin-material shirts in the summer.




34. What kept you sane?


Exercising and Letterman interview compilations




35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?






36. What political issue stirred you the most?


Vaccination misinformation




37. Who did you miss?






38. Who was the best new person you met?


Deez's neighbor Courtney




39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021:


Treasure the time you have and be more present  




40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Why can't you show some initiative?

- Shopping




What's your favorite word?

The following people signed this petition:

Hespera "(No!)"
bena "(forgiven)"
barcode "(excellent exercise, I like it, but it's too difficult for me )"
joseph "(haid)"
HoboEnigmaMe "(Veggie Egg Rolls ...Mmmmm)"
tar-nuh "(hai)"
Cerra "(No.)"
Sludge "(Edification)"
northern lights "(filament)"
Raaji "(succulent OR hibiscus)"
cenobite "(burgle)"
snodogj "(cunt.)"
bodybuilderef "(yes)"
Pheonix "(babydoll)"
bubbadduck "(fuck)"
instigator "(penis)"
prettypinkkitty007 "(constitute)"
ParadoxBaby "(paradox)"
wyrd "(megszentségteleníthetetlenkeskedéseitekért)"
wela meohewa "(fabulous )"
karakins "(Luxurious)"
Sara_Timberlake "("cunt"...it's a very powerful word.)"
sam gideon "(wrought)"
Kaitlyn "(ineffable)"
bridge "( )"
Kyrenna "(wanderlust)"
SIN "(ubiquitous)"
iFeLLdown "(caramelldansen.)"
supercute "(ubiquitous & esoteric)"
kaz "(Hi!)"
BendtheGlass "(embolism)"
Stupid_Girl "(doi)"
choice "(paradigm)"
Curt "(awesome)"
.caitlin. "(Flaps)"
ShaggyDope "(the most versitile word in the english language, fuck.)"
Bexi "(fuck)"
LittleOne83 "(Restitution....it's a work thing!)"
AshleyBrass "( )"
samma "(Flutter.)"
shutup "(ohhhhh)"
-Matt- "(fuck!)"
merrry "(Stitch-my husband's nickname)"
jaymazing "(clavix)"
Pure-Fiction "(Hello friend!)"
Orgasmic Fantasy "(moist)"
rarr.ae "(chimerical! i just figured it out about a month ago. yours?)"
rayneofsorrow "(manuver)"
Whitespace "(Perspicuity.)"
wiccan3 "(That's what she said... -referring to dodgy things only though-)"
VEAL "(sphincter)"
sane "(sasafras)"
Diskonnektie "(ej thankuu. god, you've had a suspension, what's the feeling like)"
Katkutia "( )"
Shevek "(klem)"
IronChef "(twat just say it and it makes you smile)"
eva "(swell, counterintuitive, longing)"
yarddog "(one of these I HAVEN'T signed!)"
xaqari15 "(zowie)"
strawberry "(douche)"
ducttapedave "(i like frood.)"
Jeanna "(dang'it)"
aniorange "(rosebud)"
Calamity "(pantaloon)"
ashbat "(BEVERAGE)"
Scenester "(awesometastic)"
KatePrayer "(motherfucker)"
edcunard "(inchoate)"
Lizzard "(FUCK!!!)"
ambrosia "(hey thnaksfor saying hi i'm new to iam and am a little lost!!)"
Jake "(I don't have just one. I just learnt "coquelicot", though.)"
paulo4127 "(bollucks)"
chemically_lobotomized "(cockamamie - yay for House fans!!!)"
JuuL "(Berserk)"
EoniAbstract "(projection)"
Sad Squid "(i do say awesome a lot. seriously...a lot. )"
deadly pale "(atemberaubend - nicely hard and with a cool meaning)"
snoogans "(fwang)"
scamp "(onomatopoeia always makes me giggle)"
Ernest "(uncertainty)"
goomy "(honeybunny)"
Mr.me "(Finkelstein)"
vizante "(needle)"
freakz "(champingnon)"
lost girl "(smooshed.)"
bexrox "(rain)"
tlw "(I still pick animals over people. At least they care.)"
Mangaartist "(I have a lot, I LOVE English words, it isn't my 1st language.)"
PiercingBunny "(Shit!)"
sugarNspice "(sweet)"
level3stud "(undulating)"
allison_scout "(heebeejeebee's)"
TripleHelix "(Syzygy, because it's structurally perfect)"
firstluff "(scadink " move it a scadink to the left")"
Rumball "(philanphropist)"
ununseptium "(authenticity)"
Holly Bo "(Spork)"
an0nymous_vamp1re "(Ni)"
Della "(It's a toss-up between "maelstrom" and "dichotomy.")"
jazzybean "(proper - i'm cornish )"
bruxa "(I'm old Gregg!)"
hobo soup "(moist.)"
Satans_Angel "(schooch)"
manini "(love)"
amberlynne "( )"
helanus "(weasel!!)"
KIVAKA "(love)"
tyger burning bright "(why?)"
radical kiba "(snarly)"
jonathandoe "(hella)"
Zee "(Smock!)"
Nermal "(Shenanigans)"
The Hektik1 "(cheedle )"
MrNoModifications "(Feierabend)"
s_a_h_mommy "(flibbertigibbit)"
Golem37 "(Cooter)"
fetch "(gravy)"
postblue_ "( )"
fuck_life "(RAD)"
brokken "(what ever word fits?)"
Blood Roses "(ambiguous)"
Lofty "(Seriously. )"
hailshimmer "(New favourite is AHOY!)"
Daddy "(Sharks!)"
vivica "(GollyGeeWillakers!!)"
Mentabolism "(Fantastic)"
yurmomnaked "(fuck, shit, or cunt)"
JustJen "(Fastidious )"
brute "(your calvin and hobbes tattoo is the best thing i have ever seen!)"
xdollfacexpiex "(Cunt I know it's bad but I love it!)"
*Stitch* "(so many good ones...um i'm going to say taco)"
Myko "(fhqwhgads)"
Miss Gabrielle "(Bloody, Bah!, and Pissy.)"
phoenixxx "(smarmy)"
Raphael EN "(hiricow !)"
oddbod "(pain)"
GnomeChomsky "(triflin')"
angelicfruitcake "(Snout! Or crocodile...)"
HighLevel "(Goeiendag)"
Sugar "(Apoplectic)"
cadaver "(guillotine. my bf's current favourite is verisimilitude)"
autumn "(Moist)"
rusu "(Bubble. But I use the work 'wanker' an awful lot.)"
MizzGrell "("Crap")"
DragonHeart "(pie!)"
shadowsidetattoos "(cheers dude, like your tatts)"
steveinthesun "(DESKS)"
SamanthaM "(tits)"
vonfaust "(at the moment 'homonymn')"
Bot "(Bitchin')"
DrGreenThumb "(Hella)"
Mike Dimas "(fun)"
residue "(Swiss Army Knives ftw!)"
Killer Bee "(Dang- because i once heard a 19 month old say it )"
Blitzkid196 "(queue.)"
DreamsOfJade "(pervert. i dont know why. just is hhaahahahaha)"
dejennarate "(efficacy)"
atatattoo "( )"
Dawnie "( )"
nadineynuisance "(cunt)"
Hollywood "(triceratops)"
jessecake "( )"
Malvenkemo "(My favourite French words are pneu and pamplemousse. )"
namicoj "( )"
Stitch Faced Angel "(Strudle)"
pierced-boy "(love)"
Dreadlocksmile "(apocalyptic)"
doxgukka "(monkey)"
george_the_ballerina "(saucy)"
xJessiCUNTx "(cunt)"
Chronics "(cunt)"
Povallsky "(See, I was thinking of getting an adamantium helmet...)"
clubberdude1981 "(Merge)"
Fuzz "(Cuntwhapple)"
Cmhionn "(Skwerl)"
11 "(Murmel)"
The_Voodoo_Dolly "(abso-fucking-lutely)"
ColeMine "(discombobulated)"
Emily Post-Punk "(slyboots)"
Tovie "(quixotic)"
nekokichi "(cunt)"
:with love and squalor: "(conundrum)"
KnifeInTheMarathon "(suamaetrepanofiadaputa)"
BeccaMonster "(Wonky)"
ookumbubbleoo "( )"
Chadgrisly "(Obscure)"
majikan "(kutjes)"
the pierced russian "(fuck)"
Nero "(kluge)"
Amadahy "(aight)"
evilpixie "(discombobulate because it has Disco and Bob)"
ShesSoVaVaVoom "(kumquat)"
Mythology "(outlandish)"
ColdSweat "(Cockbadger)"
fluffyreptile "(cooder)"
dboard9 "(Nipples.)"
brian.johnson "(prehensile)"
Morgue "(Turmoil)"
Jemma.m "(flannel!)"
())crayon))> "(sleep)"
Somech1ck "(fuck)"
DIY'er "(Arrrrrr!)"
livid "(llama)"
AnotherBleedingHeart "(therefore)"
EziliGede "(fuck-nut)"
Kid Presentable "(crapshoot)"
Crowned Dragon "(pernicious)"
nufger "(success)"
jody "(murder)"
blackwinghalo "(spanakopita)"
Funky "(funkadelic)"
FauxPas "(Indubitably)"
Chevo "(FUCK)"
Knulp "(quark)"
chickadee2084 "( )"
Caroline June "(Litotes)"
Auryn "( )"
Celticgent "(YES.)"
soulmom "(shenanigans & bombardment)"
second place "(snow)"
Snow White "(crumbs, cunt and jinkies)"
TattoedMat "( )"
XkuruX "(irrelevant)"
asphixiation "(Coitus. Why isn't it used more now? Thanks for signing!)"
SVEN "(thats money)"
shpluck "(portal)"
verve729 "(Soliloquy)"
kermee "(stuff)"
Jinxed "(No)"
Alledria "(currently it's "effusive")"
fieryn "(epitome)"
Jareb "(cunt.... sorry, but i love it!!!!!)"
Hail "(boobies)"
MartiniBuiltForTwo "(fuck- or trepidation )"
asparagus "(banana)"
DrLouLou "(Hello hello!)"
Leroy "(Smeg)"
blackandblue "( )"
ConchyMcBleed "(brrrmmmm)"
MsNightingale "( )"
dazedeagle "(shit. I say it all the time, I have a shit problem.)"
Elfling "(thank you for the birthday wishes!!! )"
Melissa "(shitass)"
little_miss_pirate "(bangle)"
christina bo bina "(bologna!)"
perpetual "(chicken eye and seductive)"
luckyshamrock "(whiplash and i like guttersnipe too)"
no_pants "(Blech!)"
JennaG "(ooze)"
Stardust "(achtung- a German word that sounds like projectile vomiting =D)"
color me blood red "(shit)"
indigo_dream "(quite)"
dopesong "(anaesthetic)"
Kittie.Lee "(Audacity)"
Glow "(Monty Python??? I never made it through any of them.. I suck. )"
The_Prophet "(Antidisestablishmentarianism)"
filosofadelaspollas "(hullabaloo)"
kit33 "(Twitterpated or Incognito)"
GypsyDissident "(Cooch)"
ctlnpg "(diminutive.)"
Cerberus_the_dog "(Shag)"
deadinblood "(rediculous)"
Jenna Saisquoi "(discombobulated)"
TMHahn "("fuckheads" has been relevent recently.)"
ivy "("fuck" for t3h w1n!!!)"
solocard "(moist...)"
Mrs Wolf "(Innigkeit)"
deadvin "(exudate)"
OneOwner "(supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)"  

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