Cappuccino Stout/ Telesco
10/1/2019 | 0 comments


The drive to Santa Barbara Friday afternoon was no fun. Took two and a half hours and was hot. Hung out with my aunt for a couple hours until my sister arrived. We had tacos before heading out for the show. 

Aunt and uncle had better seats. Sis and I were near the top, but the SB Bowl isn't a large venue, so our view was fine. Mom was supposed to go with us, but went to Guatemala instead, and sister hadn't managed to sell her ticket, so we had an extra seat and could spread out a bit more.

The show was just Knopfler, no opening act. He had a ten-piece backing band of talented musicians (upright bass, fiddle, two percussionists). I don't know his music outside of the Dire Straits mega hits), but he sounded good and had fun things to say. They played "Money for Nothing" as an encore, so I knew one song. No "Princess Bride".

Stayed the night, but didn't sleep well. Left around 5:30 the next morning to get to work by 7:00. Flew down the freeway blasting the newest Chemical Brothers. Took less than an hour and a half. Having no traffic was so nice.

Had a very tired day at work.

Sunday mom got back from Guatemala and was already at the house when I got back from work. She'd been planning on heading home that evening, but was obviously quite tired, so I talked her into staying and hanging out with me Monday morning.

Monday we took the dogs for a walk along the greeenbelt. My other reason for going for our walk there was because I park in the Fry's lot and wanted to go into the store to pick up a larger SD card for my phone. So I did that after the walk, then we went across the street to Veggie Grill for lunch before both heading to our respective homes.

Spent pretty much every free moment since then putting music onto my new SD card. I bought a 256GB, but it only holds 233. Still, that's twice as much music as the last one. I went through my library once, adding the necessary stuff, then another halfway trip through the alphabet for atuff I want to check out before I ran out of room. But now I get to start the process of deleting the things I don't need to hear again, thusly freeing up space for more stuff. I've been listening to the playlist for hours every day, and it's really good. Yay music!

I did take another trip to Hollywood, and thusly Amoeba. Turned in a bunch of CDs and got my best offer of store credit so far. One box of CDs to go. I just keep taking in CDs, getting credit, using it for more CDs, and then recycling those on the next trip up. I'm running out of stuff to pick up. Would love to get more rap, honestly, but I don't know enough about it to know what to get.

Mom will be here again Thursday. We'll be seeing Iron & Wine with Calexico before she heads out on another airplane to meet up with her man. I'm very excited for this show, as I've been dying to see I&W for ages.

Then next week is Desert Daze! 

I do so very love October, and this one's shaping up to be extra-special.


Jetty/ No Comply!
9/18/2019 | 0 comments



Not a whole lot been going on. Been spending entire days on Reddit. I mean, I did a lot of gardening last week, and took the recycling in and cleaned the side of the mouse. But aside from that...

Also doing a lot of Desert Daze research, and buying lots from Bandcamp. There are going to be a ton of good acts there, as usual. I've once more crammed the 112GB chip in my phone with music (17,000+ songs), and there's so much more I want to put on it. I plan to get a 256GB asap. Was considering a 512, but the ones I saw online are actually quite expensive. And then it would take me a couple years to hear it all.

Saw dad for a few hours on Thursday. He was down for his bi-annual checkup and came by the house after. Still haven't told him what I'm doing, and I guess any differeces aren't noticeable, because he didn't say anything. I thought for sure my voice would be lower by now, but apparently it isn't to much extent.

Saw mom the next night. She took the red-eye down to Guatemala, where she's currently on one of her wheelchair distribution trips. I just got a few photos emailed to me, and it looks like a gorgeous place.

Friday I'll drive up to Santa Barbara after work and that night see Mark Knopfler at the SB bowl with family. Mom was supposed to go, but then this Guatemala trip came up. I'm not much of a Knopfler fan, truth be told, but I hope for some guitar wizardry to entertain.

I didn't mention it last time, but the new Tool album is really good. I tried to get a ticket for their show at Staples a week after Desert Daze, but it sold out really fast. I'll have to get them second-hand, because there's no way I'm missing that show.

T-wise, not much to say. Changes are still subtle. Hairier, stronger. My shadow looks better, with broader shoulders. Emotionally, I feel world better. Don't have the rage issue any more. I'm very level, which is likely helped along by the abstaining from weed. Not feeling suicidal. Not having the up-and-down terror ride of PMDD, thank god. If that was the only change, I would be forever grateful. Still wishing for more than peach fuzz on my face, though, not gonna lie.

Dogs are doing well. I'm feeling quite anxious to return to Canyonback, but it's nice to not have to drive up there.

Guess that's it.


Sunset Coast/ Citra Slam
9/3/2019 | 0 comments

Trip up the coast was nice. Took both dogs again, and we stopped at Rincon as we usually do on the way up. Ripley's become a big fan of the water. It took her years to finally get into it, and now she loves it.
My aunt and uncle had been hiking with mom in Montana De Oro (dogs not allowed) before I arrived, and were both still there, so I got to say hi briefly before they headed back down to Santa Barbara. Aunt called me by "new" name, so I assumed mom had told them. In fact, she'd told all of them, and seemingly everyone is fine with it, they just want to know what to call me and what pronouns I want to use. Not that I'll be seeing them much any more, but it's good that they know.
Mom and I took the dogs around the path, then settled in for dinner and the first episode of the Attenborough-hosted "Africa" series on Netflix. Some of the Planet Earth stuff leaves me super-bummed, considering it's probably the last gasp for a ton of wildlife out there, but this one wasn't as depressing as, say, walruses jumping off of cliffs.
Monday morning we headed north, getting as far up as to nearly Hearst Castle. The beaches there didn't allow dogs off-leash, so we headed back towards Morro Bay and let the dogs run around. It was overcast all day, and we weren't even able to see Morro Rock from our usual lunch spot, the always-delicious Taco Temple.
The house is now on the market and being shown, so much of the personal bits of it are packed, and there's staged props everywhere, It's a bit sad to see it in such a state. At least it's been a long letting-go.
As usual, the trip was over too soon, and we were too quickly back in the truck, heading into way-too-hot Los Angeles.
Wednesday I had to pick up another box of my prescription, so I went to Amoeba first to trade in some graphic novels. I'm glad I had seen that they take those in for trade, as the box of them that I'd been planning to give away fetched me $120 in Amoeba credit. I'm going to trade in more books and CDs tomorrow and then go on a big music shopping spree.
Being weed-free means I actually have my attention span somewhat back (it's still a bit wrecked from the smart phone era), so I've been getting into watching things again. So last week I powered through the three seasons of GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling), which I enjoyed quite a bit. It's great to see lots of strong roles for women, and the characters and writing are top-notch.
This week I've been really into the new Dark Crystal series. I kind of actively dislike the movie, though it's been years since I've tried watching it. This new series is kinda mindblowing, though. I'm really in awe of what they've accomplished, so far as the puppetry, sets, and effects are concerned. My brain really can't even comprehend how they've managed it all. The story is great, too, really expanding the world. It's very Lord of the Rings.
The rest of my household was visiting mom this past weekend for the holiday, so I enjoyed a nice, quiet few days. Been doing some yard work and stuff around the house. Been getting back spasms again, so I should probably slow down, but I think they're just a part of my life now, and I'm not sure that anything will stop them.
Trans stuff is going along, though more slowly than I'd anticipated. It's all quite gradual, and I'm wishing I'd started sooner. Not just decades sooner, but specifically last year. Still quite disliking this middle ground and really wishing I was further along, but that'll come in good time. Face is slightly more angular, voice slightly lower, body a bit hairier, muscles definitely larger and strength noticeable more, but all quite subtle and likely not noticeable to anyone besides me. Not having severe mood swings as often, which was a major reason for my desire to change up hormonal systems, so that's a big plus. Guess I'm just feeling impatient. Have another blood test tomorrow to check my liver enzymes again (one was alarmingly high last time). I've been down to one beer a day for the last couple in the hopes that will help. These tests are expensive and beer is too delicious, so I'm in need of good results. 
That's about it for the last week or so.

A-Slo-Ha/ Santa Lucia IPA
8/24/2019 | 0 comments

Sunday I went up to Scott's for movies. We started with a doc on China's single-child policy and the consequences that followed. It was quite uneven, making it seem like both a necessity and a travesty. (but 330 million fewer people on the planet, so a success, in my mind.)

Followed that with "Peanut Butter Falcon", which was quite charming, though it followed lots of silly indie movie tropes that honestly made no sense. But for what it was, I enjoyed the film and its overall message.
Lastly we watched (I believe it was called) "The Amazing Johnathan", a documentary about the magician/comedian which went in very unexpected directions. This one I would recommend. It was followed by a Q&A featuring the director, Johnathan, and his wife, which was hosted by Emo Phillips. Emo remains funnier than he has any right to be. One of the audience questions was about their favorite venue to play, and Emo answered with "The Giggle Abscess", and good lord that made Scott and I laugh way too much.
Was lazy for most of the rest of the week, until Thursday, when I went with Scott to Disneyland to take advantage of the last week of his annual pass (and the discounts it would get me) and finally check out Star Wars land.
SW land is ok. It's a whole new land featuring a single ride. Great. Lots of shopping opportunities, should one want to buy a $100 remote-control droid or assemble a $200 lightsaber, neither of which I was keen on. But the park(s, we did a hopper pass to access California Adventure so I could also check out the Guardians of the Galaxy reboot of Tower of Terror) were not very busy, and most rides we didn't wait more than a few minutes to get onto.
The Millennium Falcon ride is ok, a glorified motion simulator with some interactive bits glomed on. We rode it twice, and didn't get to be pilots either time, which is apparently the coveted position. We also had reservations for the Cantina, which means I got to get my official Disney day drinking on (first time alcohol's been served in Disneyland). I got a fancy margarita which was pretty good, and some grapefruity thing which left me wanting more.
That was the excitement for the week. Tomorrow I'm going up the coast to visit my grandparents' old house for one of the final times. They had an open house last weekend, but I haven't talked to mom about it to see if there were any offers. Then it'll be an escrow long enough for mom to get everything in order. So not the last time, but perhaps the penultimate, sadly. 

The Lightest One/ Gentle Reminder
8/15/2019 | 0 comments

Temporary (hopefully) solution to the iam text box issue: compose in email, send to myself, pick up on phone, copy and text into box on mobile. Only downside is now google will know my private life. Thanks, iam!
Anyway, the wedding was really great. Beforehand, we met up with my uncle at his hotel so my nephew could enjoy some swimming and my mom (not attending the wedding) could get her car back after her extended trip in Indiana/Michigan. Anyway, I was the last to arrive, and my uncle (dad's side) was calling me by my new name when I got there. He went up to his room before the rest of us followed, so I asked mom if she'd told him, and she had (first one told on dad's side of the family). He was fine with it, and fine with me using the name. So that was a big of a relief.
Sis and uncle and I headed to the wedding together, which was in an old Victorian (or as old as they get in LA) house on Wilshire. We were the first to arrive, and met my other uncle (father of the bride) there, mingling as the rest of the guests arrived. My sister had her husband down as her plus one, rather than me, so people were pleasantly surprised that I was there.
The ceremony was quite nice. The couple writes together, so it had a few literary readings of love and such, and an exchange of their own vows. Small altogether, less than a hundred guests (and no kids!).
After the ceremony, we hit the open bar and did more mingling. My aunt (the Catholic one with the big family) came up to me and immediately went into how happy she was for me, and how supportive, so it seems my uncle had told her in the meantime. I was very afraid of her reaction, in fact of all of that side of the family's reactions, and so hadn't planned on saying anything, but it was a huge outpouring of love that I got that made me tear up and overall feel quite overwhelmed.
We were then led back into the hall for dinner. I was at a table with my aunt, her husband, my uncle, my half-uncle (Leonard's oldest) and his daughter, my cousin (who also lives in the area) and his wife, and of course my sister. It was a lot of fun listening to them all talk.
After the cake and dancing, I told my aunt about how afraid I was that the family would react poorly to my using my deceased uncle's name, but she said she loved it, and again reiterated her love and support for me. The father of the bride came by and said the same. When we were all getting ready to leave, mother of the bride hugged me and said the same. The evening wasn't at all supposed to be about me (hence my not planning on saying anything), but I ended up feeling overwhelmingly loved and cared for, which I hadn't even been looking for. It was quite the emotional night.
Hayley was also out this past weekend, mostly to do a record release show for the album she made with her old friend. The show was on Thursday night (wedding was Saturday), so I got to see her and her extended family at the performance then. I thought they sounded really good, but she focused on all the mistakes.
Friday I picked her up from where she was staying with a friend out new Griffith Park. She'd been lamenting that she missed the ocean and wasn't going to get a chance to see it this trip out, so I told her I'd take her to Moonshadows, a restaurant in Malibu right on the ocean, if she'd like to go. The trip out to Malibu wasn't too bad, and we got seats at the bar outside, with the waves crashing right under our feet and the whole of the Pacific spread out before us. She wished for dolphins when we got there, and two came by and humped their way across our view as we were near to leaving.
The drive back to the east side wasn't the most fun, but we blasted Run the Jewels as we made out way down Sunset Boulevard through the Friday afternoon traffic jam. Her friend was there when I arrived, and we hung out for a bit. Hayley got us to talking about suspension, and he mentioned staying with a Courtney in Dallas. I asked if he meant Courtney Crave, and he said that he did, so small world there, him knowing her and Allen and all. 
So it was a pretty busy weekend for me. Have just been doing small things around the house with my free time since.
Oh, and I got my hair all cut off. Had been planning on doing it earlier in the summer, but kept it longer (down to my ears/collar) for the wedding. I wanted something basic, with no part, that just follows my natural hair pattern. The results aren't great, and remind me of how awkward it was at stages when I was growing it off after getting it all buzzed off, but oh well. That's what hats are for. Anyway, it's gone. Now I just need to figure out what short haircuts actually work for me.
Anyway, I feel relieved to be pretty much out to everyone that matters (er...except dad) and moving forward with that aspect of life. Although it kinda now hilights how stationary I am in other aspects of life, but one major life change at a time.


What's your favorite word?

The following people signed this petition:

Hespera "(No!)"
bena "(forgiven)"
barcode "(excellent exercise, I like it, but it's too difficult for me )"
joseph "(haid)"
HoboEnigmaMe "(Veggie Egg Rolls ...Mmmmm)"
tar-nuh "(hai)"
Cerra "(No.)"
Sludge "(Edification)"
northern lights "(filament)"
Raaji "(succulent OR hibiscus)"
cenobite "(burgle)"
snodogj "(cunt.)"
bodybuilderef "(yes)"
Pheonix "(babydoll)"
bubbadduck "(fuck)"
instigator "(penis)"
prettypinkkitty007 "(constitute)"
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wyrd "(megszentségteleníthetetlenkeskedéseitekért)"
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Sara_Timberlake "("cunt"...it's a very powerful word.)"
sam gideon "(wrought)"
Kaitlyn "(ineffable)"
bridge "( )"
Kyrenna "(wanderlust)"
SIN "(ubiquitous)"
iFeLLdown "(caramelldansen.)"
supercute "(ubiquitous & esoteric)"
kaz "(Hi!)"
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Stupid_Girl "(doi)"
choice "(paradigm)"
Curt "(awesome)"
.caitlin. "(Flaps)"
ShaggyDope "(the most versitile word in the english language, fuck.)"
Bexi "(fuck)"
LittleOne83 "(Restitution....it's a work thing!)"
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samma "(Flutter.)"
shutup "(ohhhhh)"
-Matt- "(fuck!)"
merrry "(Stitch-my husband's nickname)"
jaymazing "(clavix)"
Pure-Fiction "(Hello friend!)"
Orgasmic Fantasy "(moist)"
rarr.ae "(chimerical! i just figured it out about a month ago. yours?)"
rayneofsorrow "(manuver)"
Whitespace "(Perspicuity.)"
wiccan3 "(That's what she said... -referring to dodgy things only though-)"
VEAL "(sphincter)"
sane "(sasafras)"
Diskonnektie "(ej thankuu. god, you've had a suspension, what's the feeling like)"
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eva "(swell, counterintuitive, longing)"
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ashbat "(BEVERAGE)"
Scenester "(awesometastic)"
KatePrayer "(motherfucker)"
edcunard "(inchoate)"
Lizzard "(FUCK!!!)"
ambrosia "(hey thnaksfor saying hi i'm new to iam and am a little lost!!)"
Jake "(I don't have just one. I just learnt "coquelicot", though.)"
paulo4127 "(bollucks)"
chemically_lobotomized "(cockamamie - yay for House fans!!!)"
JuuL "(Berserk)"
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Sad Squid "(i do say awesome a lot. seriously...a lot. )"
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snoogans "(fwang)"
scamp "(onomatopoeia always makes me giggle)"
Ernest "(uncertainty)"
goomy "(honeybunny)"
Mr.me "(Finkelstein)"
vizante "(needle)"
freakz "(champingnon)"
lost girl "(smooshed.)"
bexrox "(rain)"
tlw "(I still pick animals over people. At least they care.)"
Mangaartist "(I have a lot, I LOVE English words, it isn't my 1st language.)"
PiercingBunny "(Shit!)"
sugarNspice "(sweet)"
level3stud "(undulating)"
allison_scout "(heebeejeebee's)"
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hobo soup "(moist.)"
Satans_Angel "(schooch)"
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Miss Gabrielle "(Bloody, Bah!, and Pissy.)"
phoenixxx "(smarmy)"
Raphael EN "(hiricow !)"
oddbod "(pain)"
GnomeChomsky "(triflin')"
angelicfruitcake "(Snout! Or crocodile...)"
HighLevel "(Goeiendag)"
Sugar "(Apoplectic)"
cadaver "(guillotine. my bf's current favourite is verisimilitude)"
autumn "(Moist)"
rusu "(Bubble. But I use the work 'wanker' an awful lot.)"
MizzGrell "("Crap")"
DragonHeart "(pie!)"
shadowsidetattoos "(cheers dude, like your tatts)"
steveinthesun "(DESKS)"
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Bot "(Bitchin')"
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Mike Dimas "(fun)"
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Blitzkid196 "(queue.)"
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clubberdude1981 "(Merge)"
Fuzz "(Cuntwhapple)"
Cmhionn "(Skwerl)"
11 "(Murmel)"
The_Voodoo_Dolly "(abso-fucking-lutely)"
ColeMine "(discombobulated)"
Emily Post-Punk "(slyboots)"
Tovie "(quixotic)"
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:with love and squalor: "(conundrum)"
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Chadgrisly "(Obscure)"
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the pierced russian "(fuck)"
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Amadahy "(aight)"
evilpixie "(discombobulate because it has Disco and Bob)"
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Mythology "(outlandish)"
ColdSweat "(Cockbadger)"
fluffyreptile "(cooder)"
dboard9 "(Nipples.)"
brian.johnson "(prehensile)"
Morgue "(Turmoil)"
Jemma.m "(flannel!)"
())crayon))> "(sleep)"
Somech1ck "(fuck)"
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livid "(llama)"
AnotherBleedingHeart "(therefore)"
EziliGede "(fuck-nut)"
Kid Presentable "(crapshoot)"
Crowned Dragon "(pernicious)"
nufger "(success)"
jody "(murder)"
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soulmom "(shenanigans & bombardment)"
second place "(snow)"
Snow White "(crumbs, cunt and jinkies)"
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XkuruX "(irrelevant)"
asphixiation "(Coitus. Why isn't it used more now? Thanks for signing!)"
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shpluck "(portal)"
verve729 "(Soliloquy)"
kermee "(stuff)"
Jinxed "(No)"
Alledria "(currently it's "effusive")"
fieryn "(epitome)"
Jareb "(cunt.... sorry, but i love it!!!!!)"
Hail "(boobies)"
MartiniBuiltForTwo "(fuck- or trepidation )"
asparagus "(banana)"
DrLouLou "(Hello hello!)"
Leroy "(Smeg)"
blackandblue "( )"
ConchyMcBleed "(brrrmmmm)"
MsNightingale "( )"
dazedeagle "(shit. I say it all the time, I have a shit problem.)"
Elfling "(thank you for the birthday wishes!!! )"
Melissa "(shitass)"
little_miss_pirate "(bangle)"
christina bo bina "(bologna!)"
perpetual "(chicken eye and seductive)"
luckyshamrock "(whiplash and i like guttersnipe too)"
no_pants "(Blech!)"
JennaG "(ooze)"
Stardust "(achtung- a German word that sounds like projectile vomiting =D)"
color me blood red "(shit)"
indigo_dream "(quite)"
dopesong "(anaesthetic)"
Kittie.Lee "(Audacity)"
Glow "(Monty Python??? I never made it through any of them.. I suck. )"
The_Prophet "(Antidisestablishmentarianism)"
filosofadelaspollas "(hullabaloo)"
kit33 "(Twitterpated or Incognito)"
GypsyDissident "(Cooch)"
ctlnpg "(diminutive.)"
Cerberus_the_dog "(Shag)"
deadinblood "(rediculous)"
Jenna Saisquoi "(discombobulated)"
TMHahn "("fuckheads" has been relevent recently.)"
ivy "("fuck" for t3h w1n!!!)"
solocard "(moist...)"
Mrs Wolf "(Innigkeit)"
deadvin "(exudate)"
MYBLUDWING69 "(supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)"  

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